Myth #9

THE FEMINIST MYTH

I think every woman has these thoughts running through her head. Times have changed we are getting married later and getting more education and starting our families later in life. Gone are the days of getting married at 20 and having all your kids by 25. Now the average age that a woman marries is 25.

“We are in control of our reproductive lives. We can determine when, where, and how we will conceive and give birth.”God gives us wonderful freedom to make many choices, but we must never forget that ultimately we are not in control of our reproductive lives. God is. “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain . . . Sons are a heritage from the Lord . . . “ (Psalm 127 NIV).

We also must accept the reality that fertility declines dramatically with age. With women getting married later in life and starting their families later in life their biological clocks are ticking louder and louder. Most couples want to spend a few years enjoying each other and traveling and doing all the things that you cannot do when you have young children. So with the average age of marriage being 25, most women are not even trying to start their family until they are in their late 20's early 30's. Now while that is still young age, fertility is still declining and it's not going to be as easy as it would have been if a woman was in her early 20's.

We also live in a world that relies heavily on the media. There are always celebrities that are having children in their late 30's and into their 40's, Marcia Cross, Angie Harmon, Courtney Cox Arquette, Jennifer Lopez, Naomi Watts, Nicole Kidman, and Brooke Shields. Now some of these stars have used their celebrity status to inform people on fertility treatments, because many of them had to undergo IVF in order to conceive, some even used donor eggs. But many refuse to comment on how their conception occurred, leading many women to think that they have plenty of time and women are having kids into their 40's and not too worry about it.

Also, while I am very grateful in the advances of modern medicine and all the high tech ways that exist in order to help us infertile conceive. It gives women false hope, they think, "oh I can wait, I will just do IVF" what they do not realize is while IVF does help a lot of people achieve their dream of parenthood, it's success rate does decrease over time, it is not an excuse to wait to start your family. Not in a million years would I think that I, being 28 years old, would be looking into IVF in order to have a family. I mean I young, this should be happening on its own. So be aware, get your FSH tested early and know what you are dealing with. There is nothing wrong with waiting to get married and getting a great education, but do not take your fertility for granted.
Current estimates are that one in ten couples in their 20s experience an infertility problem, but the statistics jump to one in seven for couples ages 30-35; one in five for couples ages 36-40; and one in four for couples ages 41-45.