Just adopt and you will get pregnant!

That is the new saying I hear all the time, "now that you are adopting you will get pregnant" This is now the most annoying comment you can say to someone. Yeah right, signing those adoption papers will magically fix my husbands sperm and make everything work right! We had two failed IVF's- hello people. We couldn't get pregnant in a lab, what makes you think we can get pregnant naturally!?

Yes, there are a lot of women who adopt and then get pregnant- I am sure it helps to take the stress off, because stress does effect trying to conceive.

But in actuality only 8% of all couples that are faced with infertility who go onto adopt get pregnant.

So please to your friends who are adopting just say, "we are so excited for you, you guys will be great parents" and leave it at that!

The Final Countdown!

I bet you were all waiting for me to jump into a song by Asia, but no, that's my life, the FINAL COUNTDOWN to our insurance. We have officially gotten our sign up papers for our new insurance, which DA DA DA gives us $10K that we can use for fertility treatments. So IVF here we come. I am super duper excited, I am way pumped for something that is going to give us a 60% success rate, as opposed to a measly 15% shot with IUI.

I also feel less stressed because its being covered under our insurance, so its not like we are spending our life savings on this. But it is still a stressful time in my life, I want so badly for this to work on the first shot, but we are in for about 35 days of preparation for IVF so I need to take it one day at a time, and one shot at a time. But I do think I need to look into Yoga or something that I can do to keep myself calm.

Going through infertility is stressful, then add IVF into that mess and it gets really stressful. However it has been shown that there is no link between stress and the success of IVF.

Researchers in Swedan have assessed stress levels among women undergoing their first in vitro fertilization treatment and found similar pregnancy rates in women reporting high levels of anxiety and depression and women who did not.

"This is a positive message we can give our patients to help decrease their stress at this time," says researcher Lisbeth Anderheim, who is a midwife and PhD candidate at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg, Sweden.

The only variable linked to successfully achieving a pregnancy was the number of good-quality embryos transferred back into the uterus. Some studies have reported that acupuncture, which can help reduce stress, increases pregnancy success, I strongly suggest acupuncture, its my saving grace, I LOVE it!

IVF and other fertility procedures carry a certain level of stress that is unavoidable. But when that stress disrupts your daily life, it may be time to look into counseling.

Infertility Myth #4

THE STRESS MYTH

“Infertility is caused by stress."

Try to relax. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that phrase- I would not have to worry about how to pay for IVF if we need it. Because I would have a fortune. From family to friends to people I really do not even know. That seems to be the favorite phrase of everybody. They all tell me to take a vacation or a cruise or get drunk and have sex.

My question is, how do you relax, when you can't have what your heart desires? Believe me I wish I could relax! To all those people who say to, take a vacation. Yea right! Let me plan my vacation around the time when I going be ovulating. Like I know that months in advance. Because newsflash people, you have to be ovulating in order to get pregnant.

Infertility is seldom the result of psychological factors. In 90 percent of all infertility cases, infertility specialists are able to determine a physical problem. According to Resolve, the national infertility support organization, “Psychological stress is more likely a result of infertility than the cause.”

So to those who feel that they need to say something or give advice about my infertility, here is my suggestion, JUST SAY NOTHING! Or say something, like " I understand this is very frustrating for you to go through, if you want to talk please know I am here for you" I know that infertility is one of those topics that people do not know what to say and they feel the need to put their two cents in. I was told by someone to take my temperature that they would help. Now, I appreciate the tip, but after all this time and hiring a fertility specialist don't you think I would have already tried that!? I do not expect everyone to know everything about fertility treatments but please do not try to help, just offer your support and move on. It will be better for all involved.

To those who are struggling with infertility, there is something to be said about trying to relax, but just for your own piece of mind. You have to try and have some sort of life, infertility will take over your life, so do not let it. Get a pedicure or a massage, go shopping, or take a walk in the park. Spend time with your partner, take a vacation, but take a vacation to clear your mind and have some fun, not just to have drunken sex. Now if a baby comes 9 months later great, but take care of yourself first.