If at first you don't concieve, TRY TRY AGAIN!

That was the tagline for the new season of Bill and Guiliana, which premiered last night on the Style network. It was a great episode, these two are so cute and funny to watch- they really have a great relationship. The season opens with Guiliana taking a home pregnancy test, which turns out to be negative.

She was so disappointed- she said she felt she was really pregnant and this really makes her want to have a baby even more. I have been there, done that, have that T-shirt! While watching that scene all the memories of disappointment came flooding back to me. When you see that one line on that stick or the words "Not Pregnant" it is crushing! Gotta love the phantom symptoms, I swear I had morning sickness every month, and I would have put money on the fact that I was pregnant, but nope not that month!

Guilana makes a comment about how she never wanted kids, and how she spent tons of money preventing pregnancy and now it's all different. That was me, never wanted kids, always thought I was too selfish- and kids always hated me. I think about all the money I could have saved on birth control!!

I am really interested to see where this season goes- they obviously want a family and it's been a tougher road then they thought it would be to conceive. Everything thinks you decide to have a baby and bam next month you get pregnant. Well, okay some people have that happen, but not most!

I think we are going to see them go through the initial fertility testing- and then come to a crossroad- maybe everything is fine and they just need more time- or maybe they will find something. I love that they are being so open about this. Infertility is something that one out of ever six couples will struggle with and needs to get more media attention.

IVIg alternative- Intralipids

For those women who need IVIg therapy but cannot afford the heafty price tag that comes with it will be happy to know that SIRM doctors ar pioneering the field and have had great success with Intralipid treatment.

SIRM physicians have long advocated aggressive treatment of immunologic implantation dysfunction in women undergoing IVF. In cases where there has been Natural Killer Cell activation (Nka) (as evidenced by an abnormal K562 target cell test) we have championed the use of IVIG to down-regulate (deactivate) the Nka. In this manner, many women who otherwise might not have achieved success with IVF have gone from infertility to family.

Adviating the use of IVIG over the last decade, has come at a considerable price. Clearly, women requiring IVIG have been concerned about the cost (more than $4000 per dosage), reported side effects and, given the HIV/hepatitis scare, have been reluctant to receive a blood product. To make matters worse, under-informed critics have for unexplained reasons played on such unfounded fear often raising it to the level of alarm. The fact is that over the years we have administered IVIG to thousands of women, without a single report of viral transmission and few significant (but always transient) side effects.

About a year ago reports began to surface regarding a low cost (about ten times less than IVIG) synthetic product called Intralipid, which upon being infused more than a week prior to embryo transfer would lower Nka and further more, was virtually free of side effects.

About a year ago, we began evaluating the effect of Intralipid in patients who had activated Natural Killer cells, and for whom IVIG therapy would otherwise be indicated.
Thus far we have treated more than 30 women with Nka using Intralipid 20%. More than 60% of the patients achieved viable ongoing pregnancies, showing Intralipid therapy to be at least as effective (and perhaps even more so) than IVIG. There were no significant side effects and patient tolerance of this treatment was high.

Against this background, SIRM physicians have collectively decided to virtually abandon further use of IVIG, in favor of Intralipid.

Below are some clinical details about Intralipid:

Intralipid (IL), is a synthetic product composed of 10% soybean oil, 1,2% egg yolk phospholipids, 2.25% glycerin and water. Based on research performed at SIRM and elsewhere, infusion of IL lowers Natural Killer cell activation (Nka) as effectively as does, intravenous gammaglobulin (IVIG.) When indicated IL (as with IVIG) is infused 7-10 days prior to ET and one more time again after a positive pregnancy in women whose Nka is due to an autoimmune causes (antiphospholipid antibodies and/or antithyroid antibodies). In cases of alloimmune implantation dysfunction (DQa and/ HLA matching between the embryo recipient and the male partner) the same applies but in this situation the infusion is repeated at 2-4 week intervals until the 24th week of pregnancy.
SIRM physicians have supplanted IVIG with IL therapy in a significant number of women undergoing IVF , and who had immunologic embryo implantation dysfunction. The results thus far have been excellent, way beyond our initial expectations.
At last we now have a safe and inexpensive alternative to IVIG therapy...Intralipid! What is more, IL costs about 10 times less than IVIG, is not a blood product and is without significant side effects.

So there is now hope for women who need IVIg treatment, but cannot afford it. To get more informaiton about Intralipids and the nearest SIRM center visit, www.haveababy.com.

What is IVIg Therapy?

Having to go through one miscarriage can be terribly upsetting; experiencing multiple miscarriages can be devastating. However, depending on the reason for your recurrent pregnancy loss, treatment may be available to help you maintain a pregnancy. Intravenous immunoglobulin G (IVIg) is an intravenous drug given to women prior to conception through to the sixth month of pregnancy. Although it won’t help all women, those who have experienced recurrent pregnancy loss due to autoimmune factors may find that IVIg is just what they need to maintain their pregnancy.


Using donor blood that has been washed and processed, IVIg is made up of human-derived antibodies. These antibodies help to keep your immune system from recognizing an embryo or fetus as foreign and attacking it. More specifically, IVIg aids in minimizing the actions of natural killer (NK) cells. Amplified levels of NK cells can prevent an embryo from implanting as well as interfere with the proper development of the placenta, which in turn prevents the embryo from developing normally. All of these factors can result in a miscarriage.

Precisely how IVIg works is not entirely clear. It is thought that the drug may block those antibodies that cause your body to reject a pregnancy. However, it is also speculated that IVIg may work by soaking up and defusing the harmful antibodies that can interfere with a pregnancy.

In general, women who have elevated levels of natural killer cells resulting in recurrent miscarriages are thought to benefit the most from IVIg treatment. Yet, recent research has also shown a connection between increased natural killer cell activity and antiphospholipid antibodies (APA): it appears that those with APA are more likely to have elevated NK cells.

Typically, women whose miscarriage problems were linked with APA were treated exclusively with heparin and aspirin. Because of the relationship between APA and NK cells, however, more fertility specialists are testing women affected by APA for NK cells as well. If there are elevated levels of NK cells, then these women will likely be treated with IVIg instead of the common treatments for APA.

In general, IVIg therapy should be started from the first month of pregnancy and continue until the 28th week of pregnancy. However, there is some evidence to suggest that administering IVIg infusions even before pregnancy occurs may be beneficial in preventing miscarriage. IVIg therapy is often done monthly and doses can be given anywhere from one to three consecutive days.

Because IVIg is administered intravenously, to receive this treatment, an IV catheter will be inserted into a vein in your hand or lower arm. This will allow the IVIg solution to slowly drip into the vein and enter your system. Although IVIg can be administered in your home under the supervision of a nurse, the very first time you receive treatment you will need to visit your fertility specialist. The first infusion is always done in a clinical setting under proper supervision in case you experience a severe reaction to the drug.

In order to guard against unpleasant side effects, IVIg infusion must be done slowly. This means that one session can take several hours to complete. However, if you seem to be dealing with the treatment well with minimal side effects, it may be possible to complete treatment sessions sooner. Just how much IVIg a person should receive can vary as dosage is calculated according to your weight.

IVIg can greatly improve your chances of having a successful pregnancy after recurrent miscarriage. Some studies have shown a success rate as high at 80% with the use of IVIg therapy. However just like fertility treatments this therapy comes with a hefty price tag.
Depending on how much IVIg is required for your treatment, each dose could cost as much as $1500. This means that receiving IVIg therapy during your pregnancy could cost in excess of $10,000. Unfortunately, many insurance companies do not cover IVIg therapy (although it doesn’t hurt to contact your insurance provider to double check). As a result, not every couple will be able to afford this treatment.


There are some alternatives to this therapy that are more affordable for women, I will discuss these alternatives in our next blog entry so stay tuned for some valuable information.

First appt with new doctor today.

I had my first appointment today with my new fertlility doctor and it was a totally different experience then with my old doctor. First off my old RE (reproductive endocrinlogist) was a woman and my new RE is a man, so we all know that men are not as gentle as women and that defiantley came through in the ultrasound. But other then that it was business as usual. I got my new protocol, which isn't all that different then my old protocol- just some minor changes. The one thing that I am most excited about is that my new RE is going to start my Lovenex before I am pregnant. Due to my clotting disorders this could be our ticket to success- becasue if my blood clots to much it will hinder implantation, I am thrilled with that fact.
It's one more shot- but hell who cares- I will give myself 10 shots a day if it means I will get pregnant.

So I start Lupron on July 1st! Wow, it's all going so fast, IVF #2 here we come!

The Final Countdown!

I bet you were all waiting for me to jump into a song by Asia, but no, that's my life, the FINAL COUNTDOWN to our insurance. We have officially gotten our sign up papers for our new insurance, which DA DA DA gives us $10K that we can use for fertility treatments. So IVF here we come. I am super duper excited, I am way pumped for something that is going to give us a 60% success rate, as opposed to a measly 15% shot with IUI.

I also feel less stressed because its being covered under our insurance, so its not like we are spending our life savings on this. But it is still a stressful time in my life, I want so badly for this to work on the first shot, but we are in for about 35 days of preparation for IVF so I need to take it one day at a time, and one shot at a time. But I do think I need to look into Yoga or something that I can do to keep myself calm.

Going through infertility is stressful, then add IVF into that mess and it gets really stressful. However it has been shown that there is no link between stress and the success of IVF.

Researchers in Swedan have assessed stress levels among women undergoing their first in vitro fertilization treatment and found similar pregnancy rates in women reporting high levels of anxiety and depression and women who did not.

"This is a positive message we can give our patients to help decrease their stress at this time," says researcher Lisbeth Anderheim, who is a midwife and PhD candidate at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg, Sweden.

The only variable linked to successfully achieving a pregnancy was the number of good-quality embryos transferred back into the uterus. Some studies have reported that acupuncture, which can help reduce stress, increases pregnancy success, I strongly suggest acupuncture, its my saving grace, I LOVE it!

IVF and other fertility procedures carry a certain level of stress that is unavoidable. But when that stress disrupts your daily life, it may be time to look into counseling.

We can thank octo mom for new legislation!

Well, it has started, my worst fear! Federal legislation mandating the number of embryos that can be transferred. Now, its in the infant stages and its been started in the state of Georgia. This is all stemming from our lovely octo mom and her irresponsible doctor!

I agree that there should be some mandates on the transfer of embryo's, however it needs to be in conjunction with mandating the states to pay for IVF for couples. With only 12 states having mandating fertility coverage with insurance companies that leaves many states and couples out in the cold trying to figure out how to pay for IVF.

Just to care for the octuplets, born in January, it will cost the state of California millions of dollars in medical bills, not to mention the millions that will be spent to care for her other 6 children. This has scared the state of Georgia and they do not want this happening to them.

Senate Bill 169,sponsored by president pro-tempore Tommie Williams and several other Georgia legislators, would limit the number of embryos that may be transferred woman to a maximum of three for a woman age 40 or older and two for a woman younger than that. The bill would also limit the number of embryos created in one cycle to the number to be transferred.

Many IVF specialists feel this is wrong- in some women it makes more embryos to create a pregnancy, and this legislation could potentially hurt some women's chances to achieve pregnancy. It is not the governments right to dictate what a woman can do with her body. It's the choice of the couple or woman going through the procedure and their doctor to make decisions based on their diagnosis and their specific situation.

While I am advocate for fertility coverage in each and every state and I feel that states need to do what is necessary to help control the amount of high order multiples this is not the way to do it. The octo mom is an isolated incident, we need to have doctors who are responsible and ethical doing these procedures, we also need to educate the people that are going through the IVF procedure. Through education we will create educated consumers and smart patients who will make good decisions. The octo mom made a bad decision as did her doctor, not everyone should be punished because of her bad decisions.

This octuplet mother makes me sick!

Yesterday I had an appointment with my fertility specalist- and I couldn't help but bring up the octuplet story. My doctor said she is so mad about it, she said it gives fertility specalist's a bad name and gives people the wrong idea about fertility treatments. She is so right, I was discussing this very subject with some girls at my office and while they feel that she is crazy person to do what she did, the couldn't help but ask me if I could have eight kids with all the fertility drugs that I take.

People have such the wrong idea about fertility treatments, while yes there is a risk of multiple births, the chances are rather low. Fertility doctors will cancel a cycle in a heartbeat if you have too many mature eggs, or with an artificial insemination cycle they will request that you convert to an IVF cycle, so they can surgically take the eggs out and fertilize them. If there are lots of embroyo's the leftovers can be frozen for future use, but only 2 or 3 embroyo's would be put in the uterus for possible implanation, not EIGHT!

It has come out over the past few days that this crazy mother of eight did IVF, I really connot imagie that, what unetical doctor would put back eight embroyos, espically with her age of 33 and also knowing that she has 6 other kids at home.

This story makes me so sick, because I hold doctors in the highest standard, espically our fertility doctor- she is helping us to create life- what is a bigger deal then that? Because of her we can achieve our dream of parenthood, so if anyone tries to belittle her field it makes me sick. This woman is getting exactly what she wants, attention! We need to stop talking about her and giving her what she wants! Just let her be, and figure out how she is going to care for her 14 kids.

Is it really in what we are eating!?

Everytime that I am in the office of my fertility specalist's I look around and I think, how can all these women have issues getting pregnant? Getting pregnant is one of the most natural things in our lives and it seems like there are so many couples that are having problems getting pregnant. There are four major fertility clinics in my town and they all have at least a two week wait to get an appointment, how is in one town that the clinics are that busy?

I wonder is it something we are eating or drinking, it is all the cell phone and laptop use?

I came across an article that talks about the chemiclas that are widely used in food packaging, pesticides and clothing that may reduce a woman's fertility. It states that exposure to perfluorinated chemicals (PFCs) could influence how long it takes for a woman to get pregnant.

Researchers led by a team from the University of California in Los Angeles analysed data from 1,240 women in Denmark recruited between 1996 and 2002 who went on to give birth. They measured the level of two of the most common PFCs, perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA) and perfluorooctane sulfonate (PFOS), in the women's blood. They then asked the women how long it had taken them to conceive.

The average age of the women was 31, and 15% of the group were over 35, which is the age at which fertility is known to decline. The researchers found that women who needed infertility treatment or took longer than 12 months to conceive had higher levels of PFOS and PFOA than those who conceived in under six months. They estimated that women with the highest exposure to PFOS were in fact 70% to 134% more likely to suffer infertility (defined as taking longer than 12 months or requiring infertility treatment) than women with the lowest exposure.

Meanwhile, those with the highest levels of PFOA were 60% to 154% more likely to be infertile than women with the lowest exposure.

The researchers said no conclusions could be drawn from the study on how the chemicals may affect women who could not get pregnant at all. But they said the effect of the chemicals on a man's sperm quality could impact on ability to conceive "since the couples may share similar aspects of lifestyle".

Here is a little background on PFOA. It is widely used in manufacturing and industry, including the production of non-stick cookware, heat-resistant materials and those used in waterproof clothing. PFOS has been used to treat surfaces and upholstery, some insecticides and fire extinguisher foam, although its use has been steadily falling since the late 1990s.


Tony Rutherford, chair of the British Fertility Society, said the results were interesting. "This research shows a tenuous link in the delay to conception in women with the highest levels of two commonly used perfluorinated chemicals," he added. "This is an important finding and certainly warrants further detailed research, particularly in those trying for a family. This study emphasises the importance of remaining vigilant to potential environmental factors that may impact on fertility."

I wish they had given some insight to how we can have less exposure to these chemicals. We use so many chemicals in order to make our life easier, but do we really know all the risks in making our lives easier? and is is worth jeopardizing your family over?

Oct- what?

A couple in Southern California will certianly have their hands full after the wife gave birth to octuplets- yes you read that right, 8 babies at one time.

The doctors actually thought there was only secen. but one was hiding- what a shock the doctor had when he felt another foot after delivering the seventh baby.

It has not yet been relased if the babies were concieved through the help of fertility drugs, if I had to put my money on it I would bet so, considering that the human body does not naturally release eight eggs.

This is the only the second set of surviving octuplets born in the United States, so these babies made history on Monday.

While it is exciting to welcome eight babies into the world, it does not come without risk. Having high order multiples is extremely risky for babies and for mother. This is why it is so important to make sure that you are closely monitored when taking fertility drugs, becasue they are very powerful! Seek out and consult with a reproductive endocrinologist before starting fertility treatments.

But in the mean time heres to eight healthy and happy babies and good luck mom and dad!

An afternoon at the fertility clinic

Today I had my pre op appt at my fertility specialists office. I love her and her staff, so when I go there its almost like cocktail hour. We have to catch up on the latest news since my last appt. My favorite nurse today to me that she cannot wait until she doesn't have to see me anymore, in a good way, she said she just likes to see the babies. Shes super sweet and her and my doctor are so genuine I truly believe that want to get me pregnant just as much as I want it.

I had called her on Friday to see if she had the name of someone I could talk to, I think I need so therapy. My doctor was out of town last week, but first thing this morning I had an email from my doctor telling me to keep my chin up and we will get this. Today when I went in the nurse had a name and number for me of someone who specializes in fertility cases. Its the little things that make me feel like they really care.

But while I was sitting in the waiting room I was watching everyone come in and out, and its amazing to see all the different faces of infertility. There was a beautiful tall brunettes girl that was so cute, designer jeans, high heels and her Louis Vuitton bag slug over her shoulder. I began to think that infertility knows no boundaries, it can effect everyone at anytime.

I started chatting with an older lady who told me that she was doing IVF, she is single and is ready for a baby, screw finding mr. right. I give her a lot credit, and wish her the best of luck. However, she starts asking me all these questions, and I am thinking "shouldn't she know this?" here she is in the beginning of her IVF cycle and she doesn't even know what kind of medicine she is taking. Then I started chatting with another lady, who in my opinion looked like a character in Harry Potter (and no not Hermione) but again infertility knows no class, ethnicity, or race.

After my appt I had to go register at the hospital for my surgery on Wednesday and of course in front of me there is a lady who is pre registering for labor and delivery (what are the freaking chances!) I couldn't have been after the old man registering for prostate surgery?!
But anyway I overheard her talking with the admitting clerk (by the way its so not confidential) and shes telling her that she is on Medicaid and Welfare, she is 24 and unemployed and has no clue who the baby's father is. So that was wonderful! Oh well, maybe with a baby she will get her life together! But in the meantime I am paying for her hospital stay, with my tax dollars.

Well, keep us in your prayers as I prepare for my lap on Wednesday, heres to hoping she finds something and fixes it!

When should acupuncture treatment begin?

Acupuncture is similar to physical therapy in that it is a process oriented method of medical intervention. It is better to do more than less and on a consistent basis. Patients are commonly treated for three to four months before an insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), or donor-egg transfer. This period of treatment seems to have a therapeutic effect.

In a study by Stener-Victorin et al from the Departments of Obstetrics and Gynecology Fertility Centre, Scandinavia and University of Gothenburg, women are encouraged to receive acupuncture treatments pre and post embryo transfer and pre and post insemination. Clinical observations from the Berkley Center for Reproductive Wellness suggest that the most effective fertility treatments involve a combination of acupuncture, herbal medicine, and traditional medical interventions. However, conception does sometimes occur when acupuncture and herbal medicines are used without traditional medical interventions.

My suggestion would be to talk to your acupuncturist and talk about your treatments and find out what works best for your schedule. Of course the more consistent treatment the bettter results you will have but do what work best for you.

Infertility Myth #3

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“THE DOCTOR ALWAYS KNOWS BEST” MYTH

This is the myth that I feel the strongest about. Because I am the biggest beleiver in trusting your gut and doing what you beleive it. Now, let me start my saying that my step father, step sister, and brother in law are all doctors, plus my mother is a nurse, so I come from a medical family. So I love doctors and I am so happy that we have them and all the medical technologies that we have today, however that does not mean that you do not have the right to ask questions and demand answears. Just becasue you are going to a fertility specalist does not mean that you check your opnion and your brain at the door.

Think of your relationship with your doctor as a business deal- you are paying them to provide a service, get you pregnant, and if they are failing to do so in the best manner possible for you and your partner then you have every right to speak up. If a restaurant got your order wrong would you just sit by and think "oh well" NO, you would send it back! You are spending a lot of money to go through fertility treatments you have every right to get what you paid for.

Now, it is important to have an honest, trusting relationship with your physician. If you have such a relationship, he or she will not object to your asking questions. It is in everyone’s interest for you to be fully informed about the treatments that are available to you. What seems appropriate to your physician as a next step in treatment, may or may not be right for you either physically, financially, emotionally, or spiritually.

If something does not feel right or you just want to have more information you should ask and feel comfortable asking a question. Also, if you feel the need seek a second opnion, if you had cancer wouldn't you get a second opnion, I WOULD! So treating infertility is no different.

I once met a girl who was dealing with infertility and she was told by her OBGYN to take Clomid from days 3-7 of her cycle and have sex on days 12-15- and she did it, no questions asked, and she had three failed failed Clomid cycles.

I cannot even begain to tell you how many things are wrong with this, I think my mouth hit the ground when the girl was telling me this story. First off, Clomid is a powerful drug, you need to be monoitored with ultrasounds and be seen by the doctor. Secondly this girl had no idea if and when she was ovulating, she may have been ovulating early or later, which would mean intercourse could have been timed incorrectly. Also, if the Clomid dose she was on was not working that her dosage needed to be changed to maxamize her results.

This poor girl was clueless, she didn't know any better, she felt her doctor knew best and she should just do as she said. Ladies, be informed! The internet is a great option to research things, there are message boards, like thebump.com that have women who are going through fertility treatments. Now any info that you get on the internet please ask your doctor before you do something that is not healthly for you, but at least use it to get some basic info.

So ladies and gentlemen, get involved, this is your body, this is your fight to have a baby, be proactive, take an interest in yourself. Read books about infertility, reaserach it on the internet, talk to your doctor, go on message boards and discuss with others that are going through this journey with you. Just speak up! Ask questions and do not ever feel guilty for fighting for what you want, a BABY!

Infertility Myth #4

THE STRESS MYTH

“Infertility is caused by stress."

Try to relax. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that phrase- I would not have to worry about how to pay for IVF if we need it. Because I would have a fortune. From family to friends to people I really do not even know. That seems to be the favorite phrase of everybody. They all tell me to take a vacation or a cruise or get drunk and have sex.

My question is, how do you relax, when you can't have what your heart desires? Believe me I wish I could relax! To all those people who say to, take a vacation. Yea right! Let me plan my vacation around the time when I going be ovulating. Like I know that months in advance. Because newsflash people, you have to be ovulating in order to get pregnant.

Infertility is seldom the result of psychological factors. In 90 percent of all infertility cases, infertility specialists are able to determine a physical problem. According to Resolve, the national infertility support organization, “Psychological stress is more likely a result of infertility than the cause.”

So to those who feel that they need to say something or give advice about my infertility, here is my suggestion, JUST SAY NOTHING! Or say something, like " I understand this is very frustrating for you to go through, if you want to talk please know I am here for you" I know that infertility is one of those topics that people do not know what to say and they feel the need to put their two cents in. I was told by someone to take my temperature that they would help. Now, I appreciate the tip, but after all this time and hiring a fertility specialist don't you think I would have already tried that!? I do not expect everyone to know everything about fertility treatments but please do not try to help, just offer your support and move on. It will be better for all involved.

To those who are struggling with infertility, there is something to be said about trying to relax, but just for your own piece of mind. You have to try and have some sort of life, infertility will take over your life, so do not let it. Get a pedicure or a massage, go shopping, or take a walk in the park. Spend time with your partner, take a vacation, but take a vacation to clear your mind and have some fun, not just to have drunken sex. Now if a baby comes 9 months later great, but take care of yourself first.

Never give up hope!

Today I found out that a good friend on mine, who I met through the trials and tribulation of infertility is pregnant. I am so happy for her, she has been through so much! Three years of dealing with this, 4 IUI's and 1 failed IVF, finally on her 5th IUI she got pregnant. She had insisted on the lap surgery, and sure enough the doctor foundEndometriosis, and she had not one symptom. So congrats to her and her hubby on their Christmas miracle.

I am very happy for her, however there is a lingering cloud of jealously, and sadness for myself. She does give me hope that if she can get through all of this then so can I. I am scheduled for my lap surgery on January 14th, so hopefully the doctor will find something and I too will get pregnant. I hate that I have lost the ability to be genuinely happy for people, its not that I am a mean nasty person, but it gets harder and harder. I truly am the only one left, so the next pregnant person has to be me, right?!

I have always been a competitive person, whether it was horse shows, tennis or school, and its very hard for me to come in last place in the baby race. I know its the smart steady person who wins the race, and I will will one day cross that finish line with our baby in my arms, but everyday infertility race gets a little more difficult to run.

Myths #10

There are 10 top myths about infertility, so I am here to blow them out of the water!

1. THE ELIJAH MYTH: You find yourself asking, “Why am I the only one facing this?
Why is everyone else a ‘fertile Myrtle’?”
I do not know how many times I have asked myself this, yes outloud!

The Elijah Complex is common among believers who suffer from infertility. Elijah was a faithful servant of God, but discouragement blinded him from realizing that he was not alone. The Bible paints a descriptive portrait of Elijah complaining to God, “I am the only one left...” God had to pointedly remind Elijah that He had 7,000 other faithful servants in Israel; he was not alone (1 Kings 19:14-18 NIV). Sometimes God needs to remind us that we are not alone!

I have asked God so many times "why this is happening to us" and I have thought so many times that I am only one dealing with infertility. I am the only one of our friends left that has not had kids. That is a very lonely feeling. I have found solace in online message boards, as well as support groups, such as our local RESOLVE chaper. To find your local RESOLVE chapter visit, www.RESOLVE.org, they are an organization that helps couples deal with infertility. Looking into church groups is also helpful, talk to your pastor and see if they are able to introduce you to another couple in your church who is dealing with infertility. Talking to others who are going through what you are will help realize that you are not alone, and you are not crazy. All the feelings that I thought were wrong and crazy were actually normal.

The most important thing to remember is that you are NOT alone, currently there are five to ten million American couples who are facing infertility. To put it another way, approximately one in six couples will face an infertility challenge in their married life.

Long appt at the doctors

My fertility specalist is usually on time for all her apppointments, but today she was so behind schedule. My appt was at 2:45 and I didn't get into see her until about 4:00. We discussed the issues that I have, we are going to move forward with the laparoscopy, which should be in about a month. I could have it on December 31st, but I really didm't want to have it on New Years Eve day, I mean if I can't be pregnant, then I at least want to drink on New Years.

My doctor thinks we should continue with the IUI's because I am responding well to the drugs, and that we have a good shot that it will work. She also said because of my age we are not hurting anything, I guess we at least have something going for us, the fact that I am under 30 years of age helps things, I guess my biological clock isn't ticking that loudly.

I am going to have some more blood work done, to check my insulin levels and my thyroid levels.

So we are on a break, at least we get to try on our own this month, maybe we will have a Christmas miracle. Then we will resume treatment in late January early February. Maybe the break will be good, I could use a break from all this.

Is this life?

Tonight John and I spent a comfy relaxing evening on the couch with a pizza and a funny movie. It was really nice. I had almost forgot what its like to have a life, we didn't talk about babies, fertility, treatments, or doctors. It was nice. I have felt really good the past few days, in a way I am happy to be on a break, but on the other hand I am counting the days until my next appt with Dr. L to discuss when my lap will be and what can we do about some of my issues that I have noticed with these last 2 IUI's.
Living in Las Vegas you think I would be hooked to gambling, but that could not be farther from the truth. Yes, I watch movies like 21, and wish I could do that and makes tons of money, but in the end I would much rather go shopping, at least I know I will leave with something. But I think fertility treatments have become my addiction. I feel like I am always doing something that revolves around us having a baby. I know its good to fight for what you want, but I think I need this break. I feel like every moment of every day is consumed with worry of not being able to have a baby and what can we do next and what can I do to my body now? So I need this time to think about other things like Christmas shopping, making Christmas dinner, or hanging out with friends and family. I am so busy at work that is also keeping me super busy during the days. I will be happy to get back to baby making, but I am going to try to keep everything in perspective.

Starting at the beginning

For those that are reading this blog there has been a lot of talk about IUI and IVF procedures. I want to take a minute to give you some info if you are just starting out on this road of infertility, and I do hope it is a short one for you.

Most people do not jump right into IUI or IVF, the first step (depending on your diagnosis) is usually a drug called Clomid. Clomid is an orally administered drug that stimulates the ovaries. Clomid can be used alone or in conjunction with timed intercourse or with IUI. It's best to monitored by a OBGYN or an fertility specialist when taking Clomid, because there is an increased risk of multiples and you also want to make sure that it's working and that you are timing your intercourse at the right time. That would suck to have a bunch of eggs and miss the time that they are released.

Clomid can be very helpful for women who have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) because their ovaries sometimes do not function properly. Clomid will help a lot of those women ovulate, therefore giving them the opportunity to become pregnant.

Clomid is fairly inexpensive, especially when compared to other fertility drugs. Clomid is usually covered under an insurance drug plan (I think mine was $8.00 with my insurance) So its a great first step in your journey to parenthood.

I tried Clomid for 2 cycles, they say its best to give it 3 times before moving onto more aggressive treatment. We did Clomid with timed intercourse, but because of our diagnosis at the time we were instructed to stop after the second failure and move onto something that was better suited for our situation. So talk to your doctor and see if Clomid would be a suitable treatment for you, its a great first step and hopefully your only step.
Best of luck, lots of baby dust!

RESOLVE support group

Tonight I went to a RESOLVE support group, its a group that meets and talks about going through infertility. It was a great evening to talk to others about going through this roller coaster, it helps to know that you are not going through this alone. We discussed that some doctors are better then others for specific medical conditions. I love my doctor, but sometimes I feel that she is not as concerned with some of my issues and only focuses on the other issues. I have an autoimmune disorder as well as a clotting disorder and I feel that those are being over looked. So I may have a consult with another fertility specialist in town to see if changing some things can cause us to have a successful cycle. I did speak with my doctors office today and I told them that I want to have a lap to look for endo. I have an appt next week to discuss this with the doctor. I know I do not have any of the symptoms, but I do have a big one, INFERTILITY. So I want to know what is going on before we do any other treatments.

I hate insurance companies!

Let me preface with saying that I have many family members who are in the medical profession, so in no way am I bashing physicians. However, I received my EOB (explanation of benefits) for my IUI, as you know my insurance covers my IUI's at 100%. Now the doctor bills $200 to the insurance company, and gets paid. Now if I did not have insurance coverage I would have to about $2000 to the doctors office, for the same procedure. That is NOT FAIR! What ever happened to getting a discount for paying cash? Its the same thing with IVF, out of pocket you pay about $13,000, but if you have insurance, the doctor gets paid about $1500 for the IVF. Now I am grateful to my doctors who are fighting long and hard to get me pregnant, but I do not understand why there is such a difference in pricing.

I am all for doctors making money, every is in business to make a living, but why can't there be some middle ground. Fertility is one of the only medical avenues where insurance doesn't cover everything. Most other doctors all bill health insurance and get paid for most procedures. But fertility is tricky- some insurance covers nothing, some cover some things, and others cover everything. But that is not fair to get paid more from someone just because they have no insurance coverage. I feel it is taking advantage of patients. Here you have desperate people who so badly want to have children and are willing to pay all this money to do it, so you charge them more money. Why not just charge the same amount as what the insurance would pay? Or at least give them a discount. Example, if insurance pays $200 for an IUI, and the cash price is $2000, why not have the cash price be $500? You are still making money, but making it affordable for people. Why should people be denied their right to parenthood because of finances!?