Great, I have become "that" person!

By "that" I mean the person that everyone feels sorry for and is so afraid to say anything about babies or pregnancy. Okay, people lets get something straight yes it sucks that we have struggled with this journey of infertility and yes it feels like everyone in the world is pregnant but me, I think I have counted 25+ friends, and some of the are pregnant with baby #2, so it's defiantly not a happy situation for me. But, and here comes the but- this does not mean that I can crawl in a hole and come out when I am pregnant. I still have to survive and life day to day.

Not only are my friends "scared" to tell me when someone is pregnant but my family is now taking pity on me. I do not need pity, I need support and there is a difference. While I love my family for thinking of my feelings and not wanting to hurt me, the pity party is not fun either.

My step sister is 8 weeks pregnant with twins, conceived through Clomid- and I honestly could not be happier for her any my brother in law. They lost a baby boy last year at 18 weeks and they were devastated. I can not imagine going through that- they deserve nothing but happiness. But my mom tells me last weekend and then tells me not to tell my sister that I know, because she is going to tell me. Then my mom tells my sister that I know. So what was the point of that?

So tonight my sister calls and leave a message for my on my cell- and while it was very nice and genuine- I could hear the pity in her voice. Its the voice of the pregnant person talking to the infertile person. Now, my sister has been through her own battle with infertility- and has dealt with totally different circumstances, but its still the same in the end, things seem to change once infertiles get pregnant.

I hope that once I am pregnant that I do have pity on people that are dealing with infertility- I want to inspire people that you can beat this demon- you will be a family one day- you just don't know how it will happen, and you can never give up hope.

So I have officially become the person that everyone feels sorry for, I have very few friends left that I feel do not feel sorry for me, and are just supportive. It's so hard, because I wish I could share this journey with them, but it's also nice to just be with people and not talk about it, god knows it occupies enough my time.

Celebrity infertility stories

I know something that helps me get through the bad days to to read stories about other couples have battled infertility and won. One of my favorite Hollywood glam girls, and everyone's favorite OCD "Friend" is Courtney Cox Arquette. She is very open and honest about her battle with infertility. David and Courtney Cox-Arquette have had a well publicized battle with infertility. After several
miscarriages due to immunity problems they sought help and decided to go through with IVF,and after years of heart ache they finally had a healthy, baby girl, Coco. In a Good Housekeeping article, Courtney was quoted, "In vitro is a wonderful thing that people can do in this day and age,and I'm lucky enough to be able to afford it." She and David hope to do IVF again to bring Coco a sibling, but have not ruled out adoption either.

Another great story is famous director Tim Burton and his wife, Helena Bonham Carter's story. After trying Clomid, IVF, and several alternative treatments without success they conceived a beauitful baby girl naturally, born December 2007.

Its amazing how many lives infertility strikes and that everyone finds ways to get through it. I will continue to tell other celebrities stories in the coming days.

Infertility Myth #3

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“THE DOCTOR ALWAYS KNOWS BEST” MYTH

This is the myth that I feel the strongest about. Because I am the biggest beleiver in trusting your gut and doing what you beleive it. Now, let me start my saying that my step father, step sister, and brother in law are all doctors, plus my mother is a nurse, so I come from a medical family. So I love doctors and I am so happy that we have them and all the medical technologies that we have today, however that does not mean that you do not have the right to ask questions and demand answears. Just becasue you are going to a fertility specalist does not mean that you check your opnion and your brain at the door.

Think of your relationship with your doctor as a business deal- you are paying them to provide a service, get you pregnant, and if they are failing to do so in the best manner possible for you and your partner then you have every right to speak up. If a restaurant got your order wrong would you just sit by and think "oh well" NO, you would send it back! You are spending a lot of money to go through fertility treatments you have every right to get what you paid for.

Now, it is important to have an honest, trusting relationship with your physician. If you have such a relationship, he or she will not object to your asking questions. It is in everyone’s interest for you to be fully informed about the treatments that are available to you. What seems appropriate to your physician as a next step in treatment, may or may not be right for you either physically, financially, emotionally, or spiritually.

If something does not feel right or you just want to have more information you should ask and feel comfortable asking a question. Also, if you feel the need seek a second opnion, if you had cancer wouldn't you get a second opnion, I WOULD! So treating infertility is no different.

I once met a girl who was dealing with infertility and she was told by her OBGYN to take Clomid from days 3-7 of her cycle and have sex on days 12-15- and she did it, no questions asked, and she had three failed failed Clomid cycles.

I cannot even begain to tell you how many things are wrong with this, I think my mouth hit the ground when the girl was telling me this story. First off, Clomid is a powerful drug, you need to be monoitored with ultrasounds and be seen by the doctor. Secondly this girl had no idea if and when she was ovulating, she may have been ovulating early or later, which would mean intercourse could have been timed incorrectly. Also, if the Clomid dose she was on was not working that her dosage needed to be changed to maxamize her results.

This poor girl was clueless, she didn't know any better, she felt her doctor knew best and she should just do as she said. Ladies, be informed! The internet is a great option to research things, there are message boards, like thebump.com that have women who are going through fertility treatments. Now any info that you get on the internet please ask your doctor before you do something that is not healthly for you, but at least use it to get some basic info.

So ladies and gentlemen, get involved, this is your body, this is your fight to have a baby, be proactive, take an interest in yourself. Read books about infertility, reaserach it on the internet, talk to your doctor, go on message boards and discuss with others that are going through this journey with you. Just speak up! Ask questions and do not ever feel guilty for fighting for what you want, a BABY!

Starting at the beginning

For those that are reading this blog there has been a lot of talk about IUI and IVF procedures. I want to take a minute to give you some info if you are just starting out on this road of infertility, and I do hope it is a short one for you.

Most people do not jump right into IUI or IVF, the first step (depending on your diagnosis) is usually a drug called Clomid. Clomid is an orally administered drug that stimulates the ovaries. Clomid can be used alone or in conjunction with timed intercourse or with IUI. It's best to monitored by a OBGYN or an fertility specialist when taking Clomid, because there is an increased risk of multiples and you also want to make sure that it's working and that you are timing your intercourse at the right time. That would suck to have a bunch of eggs and miss the time that they are released.

Clomid can be very helpful for women who have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) because their ovaries sometimes do not function properly. Clomid will help a lot of those women ovulate, therefore giving them the opportunity to become pregnant.

Clomid is fairly inexpensive, especially when compared to other fertility drugs. Clomid is usually covered under an insurance drug plan (I think mine was $8.00 with my insurance) So its a great first step in your journey to parenthood.

I tried Clomid for 2 cycles, they say its best to give it 3 times before moving onto more aggressive treatment. We did Clomid with timed intercourse, but because of our diagnosis at the time we were instructed to stop after the second failure and move onto something that was better suited for our situation. So talk to your doctor and see if Clomid would be a suitable treatment for you, its a great first step and hopefully your only step.
Best of luck, lots of baby dust!

IUI success rates

Since we have been going through the IUI process I thought I would share the numbers side of it and answer the much asked question, just how effective is IUI?

For a couple with unexplained infertility, and the female is less then 35 years of age, and they have been trying to conceive for 2 years, with normal sperm- here are the numbers:

8% chance per month of conceiving and delivering with IUI- this is using Clomid as a drug to stimulate the ovaries.
10%- 30% chance per month of conceiving and delivering with injectable FSH medication (Follistim, Gonal F)

This is directly related to the number of mature follicles. Now using injectables will increase the number of follicles, for the best chance of success at least 3 mature follicles is the goal. The more follicles, the more eggs, therefore more targets for the sperm, therefore a better chance of conception.

I have done Clomid, and I had 2 mature follicles, with Follistim I have had 4 one cycle and 5 on another, so the injectable medication is definitely more powerful, my suggestion go for the injectables, its your best shot!

Our road to parenthood

I thought I should give a little insight to how I got to where I am in my fertility journey. So here is our journey:

August 2006- Married, decided to wait a few months to have kids
December 2006- Threw away the Birth Control pills
January 2007- Surprise BFP (big fat positive)
February 2007- Miscarriage
April 2007- Started trying naturally again
September 2007- Saw my OBGYN, expressed my disappointment that we were not pregnant- HSG ordered for me and Seman Analysis ordered for my husband.
After seman analysis came back questionable referred to a urologist and a fertility specialist
Met with urologist- he told my husband that nothing was wrong, told him to order special vitamins to help with sperm health, and said come back if you aren't pregnant in a year.
I met with fertility specialist (RE) and was told that IVF was our best option, because of our sperm issues. Doctor said lets retest sperm in 3 months
January 2008- Sperm Analysis repeated- it showed some improvement- told IVF was still our best option. Doctor moving into a new office, we are on hold until spring. Decide to take Clomid and try some timed intercourse.
March 2008- 2 rounds of Clomid and Timed Intercourse failed- still waiting until doctor is in her new office
April 2008- Doctor moved into new office, repeat seman analysis- told IVF is best option- we decide to go ahead with IVF in the Fall- due to us moving in the summer.
June 2008- Get moved into new house, find out my new insurance covers 6 IUI's at 100%- starting September 1st.
Decide to try a few IUI's because we have nothing to loose with our insurance paying for them.
September 2008- IUI #1 postponed due to ovarian cyst
October 2008- waiting to start IUI #1- found out that April 2009 we have IVF coverage, YEAH!! Will still move forward with the IUI's in the meantime, hopefully we won't need IVF.

So that's our journey, its been a lot of waiting! I am so sick and tired of waiting!

Onto Cycle #2

Well, the first Clomid cycle didnt work so we have moved onto Clomid cycle #2. So yet more doctors appointments. If anyone had told me it was this hard to have a baby I would have laughed at them! All the money I spent on birth control pills, WASTED!

What infertility has done to me I do not think I could ever explain, unless you have gone through it, its a feeling that you wish on no one! I truly believe I have become a stronger person because of this struggle, however I keep thinking my heart cannot handle another disappointment. Every cycle gone by and every month of not having a baby it breaks my heart. I watch other people with the kids and I know that will be us one day, I just do not know when. Every month I get the Pottery Barn kids catalog, and every month I admire all the cute crib bedding, I swear I have the nursery designed in my head, but every month it gets a little harder to look through that catalog.

I cannot even bring myself to look at baby stuff anymore, trips to Target have gotten more difficult. I cannot make the dreaded trip to Babies R Us, thank god for online ordering.

I know when I finally get to hold my precious baby in my arms this will have all been worth it. But right at this momemt my heart is broken. I try so hard to look forward to each cycle with optimisism and excitment, but it gets harder and harder.

Update on my life

To all who would like an update on my life here it is. John and I are happily married and just had a great holiday season. We are looking forward to an awesome vacation in March, we are heading off to Cabo for some fun in the sun! We are still working on adding another member to the Sholtz family, and no we are not getting another dog. Daisy is enough to handle! I am talking about a baby!

After a devastating miscarriage last year we have moved forward and are working with a fertility specialist here in town, and I absolutely love our doctor! After many tests and many doctors appointments we were given the go ahead to begin treatment. We just began a cycle of Clomid, which is a drug that I take that stimulates my ovaries to work a little harder! I also am doing a HCG trigger shot, it was very scary I have never had to give myself a shot before. I survived it and it really wasn't that bad. I will do anything to have a baby.

Its so crazy I live my life in 2 week intervals, the 2 weeks waiting to ovulate and the 2 weeks waiting to see if I am pregnant, and then the waiting starts all over again! I just cant wait to see 2 lines on a pregnancy test.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! I cannot wait until I can share our happy news with all our family and friends.