I can't believe we have hit 200 posts! How excited, so in the spirit I though I would spice it up a bit and talk about our favorite subject, SEX!
Now, as most of us know the frequency of sex drops after marriage, my husband always says that wedding cake is the anti sex drug! But its true, I think about how different our lives were when we were dating compared to our lives married. Now we have a house, a business, jobs, and other commitments. I have less time then when we were dating. I think its also a matter of taking each other for granted, I know he will be there tomorrow night, so whats the harm in pushing it off a night? Its bad and I am not proud, but sex does take a back seat to all the other commitments that come with marriage.
Now, throw dealing with infertility into the mix and talk about having no sex life!
Trying to have a baby without having any problems definitely leads to sex on a schedule, however when you have the added stress of infertility sex is even more on a schedule and when you get to a certain point in the infertility treatment you don't even have to have sex to get pregnant, it all happens in a doctors office with the help of a lab.
A lot of the fertility drugs cause a decrease in your sex drive, so taking the drugs that are necessary to get pregnant causes your sex drive to be almost non existent.
A study conducted at Duke University Medical Center, and presented at ASRM by Dr. Jennifer Norten, examined “sexual satisfaction and functioning in patients seeking infertility treatment.” Dr. Norten proved what many suspected, and in doing so validated our feelings. “The results of this study suggest that women undergoing infertility treatment experience significant changes in various aspects of sexual desire, arousal, orgasm, length of foreplay and frequency of intercourse.”
How can you feel sexually attractive when your body is full of hormones and bruised or sore from injections? You have to keep the lines of communication open. Talk to your partner, try and laugh about it, and when you feel up to it, try and make sex romantic.
John and I talk about and laugh about how we never have sex and when we do get pregnant John may not even be in the room. We know this is not how things are always going to be, but right now this is our reality, we want a baby more then anything and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it.
Now if you feel that sexuality or lack thereof is seriously jeopardizing your marriage, I urge you to seek seek help and support. Individual counseling and/or support groups help you realize you are not alone. Sometimes it’s nice to hear someone else sharing the same problems. That alone may be enough to get you through this trying time.
Remember this is temporary and we can do anything as long as it is temporary.
