10DPIUI and NOTHING!

Today is 10 days past our IUI and I feel nothing! I don't feel even a tad pregnant. I have had cramps on and off the past few days, which can be a good sign (implantation), but other then that NOTHING! I had a mental breakdown the past 2 mornings, the tears just cant stop coming. I hate this, I want to experience what everyone gets to experience. I am sick of hearing, oh its not the right time, or it will happen just relax!

Patience has never been my strong suit, so I guess I should not expect this to be any different. I want to be pregnant NOW! not later. I keep trying to figure out why this is happening to us, the only reason I can come up with is that this is making us a stronger family and I learning to be patient, and live life in God's time.

I love my life and John and I have so much love to give a baby, and I know one day we will have that opportunity. I am so lucky to have a supportive husband that wants this as bad as I do.

I know its early, and I do not go for my blood test for another 5 days, but the waiting it just as bad!

Inspirational Quote of Hope November 9, 2008

"Were it not for hope the heart would break."- Scottish Proverb

Beautiful Boy/Girl (Darling Boy/Girl)

Although, Shannon is normally the one doing the blogging I thought I would jump in here for a moment. I song came to my mind the other day, Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) by John Lennon. John Lennon wrote this song when his son Sean was born. It talks about the experiences of fatherhood and the very experiences I look forward to one day have happen to me. The song was written for a boy, but I have heard a girl version as well. I am going to post the lyrics in both boy and girl fashion since I do not know what we will one day be having yet. I look forward to one day sharing and singing this song with our child.

Close your eyes
Have no fear
The monsters gone
He's on the run and your daddy's here.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy/girl
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy/girl

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Everyday in every way
It's getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy/girl
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy/girl

Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess well both have to be patient
cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy/girl
Beautiful Beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy/girl

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Everyday in every way
It's getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful, boy/girl
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful Luke/Claire

Inspirational Quote of Hope November 8, 2008

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man."- Rabindranath Tagore

Inspirational Quote of Hope November 7, 2008

"Hope can always Cope." P.K. Thomajan

Inspirational Quote of Hope November 6, 2008

"Hope is one of those things in life that you cannot do without." - LeRoy Douglas

LOOOONG Day

Today has been a long day. At least just minimal cramping this afternoon. I didn't even get home until almost 10PM!

I am kinda tired, I thinking I am heading to bed here soon. I found out today a girl I work with is pregnant with twins. I am happy for her, she has a son, and her and her husband have been trying to get pregnant again for 4 years. But part of me is still jealous!

Is that little twinge of jealously going to go away? I hope so, I keep thinking the answer will be when I am pregnant, I will all of a sudden be happy again with everything in my life. Unlike know where I cringe every time someone says "guess what!" because its always followed by "I'm pregnant" or someone else is pregnant that I know.

I do not want to feel this way, but I cannot help it. I look at parents in stores and think, what did I do differently that makes me not able to pregnant, and they are able to? I would be just as good of a mom as them. I am constantly comparing myself to others that are moms. Thinking if they can do it I can certainly do it.

I am an opinionated person in most all avenues of life, but especially when it comes to children. I have certain things that I feel should be done when dealing with children, and when I find out a parent did something that I do not agree with I immediately think they are a bad parent, or think I would do it better.
I know there is more then one way to do something, and there are different styles of parenting and I should not judge people for their style of parenting or their parental choices, or should I say lack there of parental choices.

Its just that I know John and I will be such good parents, and we have so much to offer a child. Maybe now I am just more appreciative of children, because it has been a struggle for me. Its almost like I feel I will appreciate my kids more and be a better mom because I had to struggle to have them.

I know its wrong to judge others and what they do is none of my business, but when I see parents making bad choices that can harm their children it breaks my heart. Those kids don't know any better they are babies, and they deserve to be loved and cared for.

I guess all this will end when I have my own children and I can parent them how I see fit. Then maybe everyone will think I am crazy! who knows!

Inspirational Quote of Hope November 5, 2008

"We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes." John Fitzgerald Kennedy