Merry Christmas Eve!

Its Christmas eve, we are having the fam over to our house for dinner, which should be fun. That is if I can ever get home and get things moving and ready for everyone to come over, I am stuck at working waiting for the stupid clock to hit 3:00pm.
I don't understand employers- its freaking Christmas eve, like we don't all have better and more important things to do, it's not like are getting any real work done.

Anyway, yesterday was a very hard day for me, I was very happy to hear that my friend who has struggled with infertility for over 3 years is finally pregnant, so I am over the moon for her, I talked to her last night and I was almost crying for her, I am that happy for her! She gives me hope. Now to follow that up I found out another girl (I don't know here very well) is pregnant. Now let me explain, she told me that they have been trying unsuccessfully for a few months and when they just "relaxed" she got pregnant.
Oh, how I hate the "just relax" comment, yeah right! Relax, because that makes me ovulate! HELLO, if I am not ovulating I cannot get pregnant. Where you awake in health class in 5th grade??

I love Xmas time, this is my favorite time of year, yet I am missing something. I so want a baby to have its first Christmas and buy the ornament, hang it on the tree and have family photos taken for the Christmas card. I want Christmas pagents and holiday parties at school, going to see Santa for the first time, and watching their little faces light up on Christmas morning. That is what a long for and so desperately want. Every year it gets harder and harder, I really thought I would be pregnant this year. So that is my goal- pregnant by Xmas 2009 or bust!

I am going to start working out and eating better- in hopes to loose some weight and make pregnany be easier on my body. All this time I have been looking for medical fixes to get me pregnant, and yes I will continue with those, but I think the real answear is inside of me. I have to learn to enjoy life again and reconnect with my husband.

So heres to 2009, what a great year its going to be! I wish all of you a Merry Christmas!

Tis the season!

Well, last night we put up our Christmas tree and I got a good start on putting up the holiday decorations around the house. I love this time year, I have always been a XMAS nut! The more decorations the better. This year its kinda bitter sweet, we just celebrated Thanksgiving with John's family, who all have kids, we have kids ranging from 9 years old to 6 months old in our family. Its very true that kids make the holidays better. I hope and pray that this is our last holiday's with just us, I would have to have a newborn next year at this time, I would even take just being pregnant around the holidays next year. I just do not know how much more my heart can take.
I am trying to not let it comsume me, but its hard, I feel like getting pregnant would take a huge weight off my shoulders, I really forget what its like to not be worried about this.