2 Year old checkup

Claire had her 2 year check up on Tuesday, hard to believe my baby is going to be two!!! I love our pediatrician- he is SO wonderful with the kids and you can tell that he loves what he does. Claire's height and weight are right about to 30%- which for her is normal, he head on the other hand is in the 65%! Which our doctor assured me is totally normal. He estimates that she will be around 5'2/5'3 as an adult, and that she will be petite. She is doing wonderful with her milestones, she has far exceed those for 24 months, and her vocabulary has just exploded- she says at least 100 words, and will repeat anything you say! This has become a problem for mommy and daddy- we have to watch everything we say now!

Just to make things difficult we have started to have issues with her ears again, her right tube fell out last month and there is some nasty fluid sitting in her eustation tube, she is acting fine, but we don't want that fluid to stay there. So after the first of the year we are headed back to the ENT for what will most likely be her second set of tubes. They were working so well, if only that right one had stayed put and not fallen out, but overall a great checkup- her health is the most important thing to us, as long as we are all healthy that is all we can ask for, I thank God everyday for blessing us with such a beautiful, wonderful, healthy child, she has truly given our lives new meaning.

Claire officially turns two tomorrow on Christmas eve, and she is nothing short of our Christmas miracle- we will celebrate her birthday by attending mass at our church then dinner with the family, then let the festivities continue on Christmas day, we have lots planned and lots of great presents for Claire I can't wait to see her face when she sees them!

Merry Christmas to all, may you all enjoy time with family and loved ones!

We are ready to party!!

With monkey's first birthday party just around the corner, 10 days, but who's counting?! I am in full psycho stressed out mode! I am also dealing with getting everything ready for the holidays, and we have a jam packed schedule the next few weeks. I managed to get everything done and ordered- so now I have a few odds and ends to tie up for the party- but other then that we are ready to rock and roll.

I know we went overboard with this party- but honestly I don't care- we have waited so long to be able to celebrate our child's birthday and we are doing it in a big way. There were so many days that I thought I would never get to experience any of this- so I am treasuring each and every minute of it.

As if having a first birthday party, the holidays and preparing for my parents arrival to Vegas was not enough for this month- add in two court dates for our adoption, like we don't have enough going on. But these are BIG court dates- it's our TPR (termination of parental rights) hearing. That's right folks- we are very confident as is our case worker, that all parental ties to monkey's birth parents will be severed in less then 2 weeks, and then she is unofficially ours- we still have to finalize her adoption. So keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we are hoping to have even more to celebrate this Christmas.

Hello 2009! Happy New Year Everyone!

Shannon began taking down the Christmas decorations this morning. I always feel sad when that process begins. I love Christmas and we had a great one last year as we do every year.

I was going to post all of our blessings for last year, but Shannon beat me to it. Our focus on having a baby I think let us forget what a wonderful year it really was and I know in my heart 2009 is going to be even better.

I am looking forward to what 2009 has to bring to us and I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

Recovering From Christmas

Well, it has been nice to have a few days since the holiday to recover. It again was a great holiday, lots of great gifts. I got a beauitful Coach wallet to match the Coach purse John got me for my birthday. Its so pretty, I have moved all my stuff into it already, I desperately needed a new wallet. I also got the second Twilight Book, New Moon, I am already half way through it, it's so good!

We had a great time having the family over on Christmas Eve, this is the first year we have had a house large enough to hold everyone, so it was great to have everyone at our house. My nine year old niece told me that I need a baby, I told her I couldn't agree with her more. Then she started to tell me about different things and I was so amazed that I was talking to a nine year old, she is so freaking smart it's almost scary.

John had a great time with our 4 year old newphew River, he was playing Spiderman with him. I had the greatest feeling seeing John with him, I had all these visions of John playing with our kids. It was nice becasue it reassured me that we will one day have children of our own to share the holidays with.

To add to a great Christmas I actually ovulated on my own on Christmas day. Yes I know this may not seem like a big deal to most people, but I have not ovulated on my own without the help of fertility drugs since summer, so I was thrilled!

John and I went to midnight mass and it was so nice, I really love the Christmas mass. There were moments that I had tears come to my eyes watching all the families, and I have to admit the the majority of my prayers were asking God to bless us with a baby when he is ready for us to recieve it.

All and all it was a great holiday, I did miss my mom and step dad, but I will see them soon and hopefully they will be with us next Christmas.

Santa Forgot Something...

I remember when I was six years old and had wanted a Six Million Dollar Man action figure so bad. Santa had delivered and I ran through the house showing everyone what I had got. Another year I had wanted this batcopter as part of my Mego World's Greatest Super Hero Collection. My parents had ordered it through the J C Penney catalog and I remember counting the days until it arrived. At one point I was told I was bad, which I probably was, and the batcopter was not coming. But late Christmas morning Santa had come through...I got my batcopter.

I can't remember many Christmas's where I didn't get what I asked for, but this year Santa was a little short...no baby. Unlike Ralphie's Red Ryder carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle from "A Christmas Story", hidden behind a desk as a last minute surprise, there were no gifts hidden anywhere this year. But I take that back. There wasn't a last minute surprise in the form of a baby, but there were plenty of gifts.

Shannon had come through as usual with the things I had wanted. Especially, the DVD of "The Dark Knight", which yes I am still a Batman Fanatic. Another great gift was the ability to share our new home with family and friends on Christmas Eve. This is the first year we had room to fit everyone comfortably as our other homes have always been to small to entertain.

One of the best gifts though this year was the time we spent with our nieces and nephews especially my three year old nephew River. He reminds me so much of myself. He has been on a Indiana Jones kick since the movie came out last summer. But just like me he is a fan of all that is Geek. Batman, Spiderman, and Indiana Jones.

He received a Spiderman costume from his Grandpa for a Christmas gift, I would have died for that thing when I was his age, and he immediately put it on. I became the Green Goblin or the Green "Gobbin" as he called me. We had a blast. Someone said John's a 10 year old in the body of a 38 year old and that maybe I had secretly wanted a boy. We have had our heart set on a girl, but as you know any healthy baby would do for us.

I had shown River my collection of toys from when I was his age earlier in the evening. My Star Wars and Super Hero collection had River's eyes wide open. The constant "Wows" had reminded of the "Wows" I had as kid seeing these things in department stores. At one point he asked me if he could play with my pristine World Greatest Super Heroes Mego action figures. I told to tell him a heart breaking "No,", but a thought had come to my mind that I would probably have to have the collection locked up to prevent little hands from opening those boxes one day.

Although, we didn't receive the main present we were hoping for I did get some great gifts. Spending time with my wonderful wife, family and friends. Remembering the excitement of the all my Christmas's past. And seeing the wonder and joy in children's eyes and knowing that one day I would one day see those same looks on our children's eyes on Christmas.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Its Christmas eve, we are having the fam over to our house for dinner, which should be fun. That is if I can ever get home and get things moving and ready for everyone to come over, I am stuck at working waiting for the stupid clock to hit 3:00pm.
I don't understand employers- its freaking Christmas eve, like we don't all have better and more important things to do, it's not like are getting any real work done.

Anyway, yesterday was a very hard day for me, I was very happy to hear that my friend who has struggled with infertility for over 3 years is finally pregnant, so I am over the moon for her, I talked to her last night and I was almost crying for her, I am that happy for her! She gives me hope. Now to follow that up I found out another girl (I don't know here very well) is pregnant. Now let me explain, she told me that they have been trying unsuccessfully for a few months and when they just "relaxed" she got pregnant.
Oh, how I hate the "just relax" comment, yeah right! Relax, because that makes me ovulate! HELLO, if I am not ovulating I cannot get pregnant. Where you awake in health class in 5th grade??

I love Xmas time, this is my favorite time of year, yet I am missing something. I so want a baby to have its first Christmas and buy the ornament, hang it on the tree and have family photos taken for the Christmas card. I want Christmas pagents and holiday parties at school, going to see Santa for the first time, and watching their little faces light up on Christmas morning. That is what a long for and so desperately want. Every year it gets harder and harder, I really thought I would be pregnant this year. So that is my goal- pregnant by Xmas 2009 or bust!

I am going to start working out and eating better- in hopes to loose some weight and make pregnany be easier on my body. All this time I have been looking for medical fixes to get me pregnant, and yes I will continue with those, but I think the real answear is inside of me. I have to learn to enjoy life again and reconnect with my husband.

So heres to 2009, what a great year its going to be! I wish all of you a Merry Christmas!

Taking a Break From All Your Worries...

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot. Or so the lyrics go in the Cheers theme song. We are going to to take a break from IUI's for a month or so and give Shannon's body a chance to rest.

Although, I don't think Shannon has thought the IUI procedures were that bad I have had my moments. The bad cramps she's had after the procedures and the this last cycle I thought she was going to bleed to death, but with being the trooper she is doing great...aside from the disappointment.

I am glad she is getting a chance to rest for a moment. I know she wants to have a good time for the holidays. We have friends who have had troubles getting pregnant and a night of relaxation and cocktails led to them getting their bundle of joy 9 months later.

I have a new concern, which is her scheduled laparoscopic surgery. Laparoscopic surgery, also known as minimally invasive surgery, is a modern surgical technique in which operations in the abdomen are preformed through small incisions. We are doing this to see if there is something else going on that we can't tell otherwise without going inside at taking a peak. I guess my concern is, although it doesn't seem that bad, it still is surgery. They have to use anesthetic and Shannon won't be able to lift anything for about a month. At least we will be able to see if there is something else going on that we don't know about and possibly fix it.

The good part is that we can hopefully just get things off are minds for a while. People say if yo just relax it will happen. So we will put that to the test. But I think some how it will still be on our minds. We will be with family and friends for the holidays and sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

WHY! That's all I want to know. Today started great. I knew in a couple of days we would know if we were pregnant. Today Shannon and I had lunch at Zaba's at it was packed. Full families and kids everywhere. Shannon began to get upset seeing all children and I knew she was wishing we were there with one of our own. She calmed down and I thought for sure this time would be the time. We would know we were pregnant in just a couple of days.

Tonight we went to a Christmas party and there were lots of children. Mainly girls, which is what would like, but at this point we would take either sex. All the girls were dancing and having a great time. I pictured a daughter of our own dancing and laughing with the other girls. I knew one day that would become a reality.

Upon coming home Shannon began her period. So again another failed attempt at IUI. Time and time again I ask WHY?! Please God bring us a baby!

Tis the season!

Well, last night we put up our Christmas tree and I got a good start on putting up the holiday decorations around the house. I love this time year, I have always been a XMAS nut! The more decorations the better. This year its kinda bitter sweet, we just celebrated Thanksgiving with John's family, who all have kids, we have kids ranging from 9 years old to 6 months old in our family. Its very true that kids make the holidays better. I hope and pray that this is our last holiday's with just us, I would have to have a newborn next year at this time, I would even take just being pregnant around the holidays next year. I just do not know how much more my heart can take.
I am trying to not let it comsume me, but its hard, I feel like getting pregnant would take a huge weight off my shoulders, I really forget what its like to not be worried about this.

With Sperm Like That...Who Needs Infertiliy?

Well, folks. Shannon and I had another go at IUI. Once again my semen analysis was FANTASTIC. The little guys were swimming like Michael Phelps. What a difference things have been since I had my first semen analysis and started taken ProXeed. The stuff really works.

I really hope this time is it. Although, I always think this is it. I will always remain positive and not give up until we are pregnant. My biggest thing right now is seeing Shannon in such discomfort. I think she is a trooper. She thinks she is a baby, but I love her for going through all this. I know it will all be worth it someday. Thank you sweetie!

Folks please pray for us. Finding out we are pregnant would be the best Christmas present would could ask for this year.