Not as I planned- and that's okay.

This journey of infertility has been hell, but it's also been an eye opening experiece. I have always been the person who had to have things right now and just how I wanted them and I am realized that unfortunelty that is not how life works. If I dictate my life I would have had a baby 2 years ago and I would have the most beautiful pink and brown or blue and brown nursery for that little baby to come home to. Well, things have not worked out as I would have liked, but I am realizing that it's okay and I can be flexible and go with the flow. John and I have "the brown room" as I call it and it's an empty room in our house that is for the nursery. When we moved into our home we had it painted chocolate brown for a reason- because if we had a girl it would be accented with pink and brown decor and if we had a boy then blue and brown.

Well, now that we have taken the road towards adoption, I am learning that green is a really pretty color, and green goes with chocolate brown really well. So my pink and brown or blue and brown room is now going to be a green and brown room. John and I are both planners and we want to have the nursery set up when we get our baby- so I have been researching green and brown nusery's because it's gender neutral. I have found some super cute bedding sets that are very affordable, and I'm really starting to like green and brown.

I have really learned that things do not work out how you initially wanted or even hoped and that's okay- because there is another path that is right for you. Just becasue I don't get my pink or blue and brown nusery does not mean that I can never have that. The child is going to grow up and I will have the opportunity to redecorate when the child moves into a toddler bed or an adult bed so just becasue I don't have it right now does not mean that I will miss out on having it down the road.

I have never been a patient person and infertility has taught me to be more patient and to really be gratful for what you do have in life, and if you want something bad enough you will have it- it just may not be the way you invisioned.