Fast Facts about Adoption

I will get more in depth about adoption- but I am going to start with just a few quick facts.

- One in ten Americans has either been adopted, been a birth parent to an adopted child, or an adoptive parent.

- Most adoptions today are "open" or "semi-open," which means that birth parents and adoptive parents share personal information with each other, either directly or through an agency. Anonymous or "closed" adoptions have become increasingly rare.

- The first step for someone who is pregnant and thinking of giving their child up for adoption- if she doesn't already know someone who wants to adopt the child--is to contact a state agency and talk to a lawyer about filing the necessary papers. And the baby's biological father has to sign consent forms.

-Sometimes it's not until adoptees hit their teen years that they "find out." Learning that your parents aren't your birth parents after all can be confusing and even upsetting.

-Adoption has been around for a long time. It's mentioned in the Bible, and was not uncommon among the ancient Greeks, Romans, Egyptians and Babylonians.

A New Path

I thought I would finally come out of the closet, we have decided to pursue adoption, and it feels so good. John and I started talking about adoption about a year ago, but really did not start getting serious until the last few months. After our second IVF failed we decided that being parents was more important than me actually being pregnant. We are pursing adoption through the county, and we will have to be foster parents first. The biggest reason is that the child has to be in your custody for six months before an adoption can be finalized.

We are about half way through our classes that we need to take- they are 3 hours every Saturday, and are actually really fun, we are learning a lot. We have also met some really nice couples, some who have been through the fertility roller coaster, This is where our social worker comes and meets with us at our home. She also inspects our home and tells us things that we can do to make it safer for children.

So that is what is new in our life, we are really excited our new path to parenthood. We will be finished with class right before Christmas, and hopefully fully licensed soon after the first of the year.

The Right to Choose?

After all these months of trying to conceive without success I have gotten very upset about the entire thing- so recently I started thinking about why am I so mad? If you asked me 5 years ago about having kids- I would have said that was the farthest thing from my mind. But there is something about getting married that changes all that. The first thing that changed for me was that I was with someone who I could actually see myself having kids with, and he wanted kids too, he will be such a good dad!
The second part is that we are taught by society that it's what we are supposed to do, get married and have kids.

If someone asks me why I want to have kids, I really don't have an answer- is it because that is what we are supposed to do or is it because I really want kids? But wait- we have gone through hell and high water to have a baby- am I serious that I don't know why I want to have a baby? No WAY!? So what all this has been for nothing?

Well no, that is not exactly true- when it comes down to it- I just really want to be fertile- I want to be able to choose to have a baby. When you are dealing with infertility that choice is taken away from you, and you have no control over it. Going through fertility treatments is a way to take back some of that control. Fertiles have the choice of when or even if to have a baby- I don't have that choice and that is what is so frustrating.

Now, just so you understand I want to be a mom more then anything- I have told myself that I will do whatever it takes to be a mom, actually there isn't anything I wouldn't do if I knew it would result in a baby. But it's interesting to look at the motivation- it's about choice.

Pregnant with 2 babies, but wait they aren't twins!

Imagine Todd and Julia Grovenburg’s surprise when doctors found not one, but two babies on Julia’s ultrasound – and then told the parents the babies weren’t twins,

Doctors think Julia and Todd conceived baby girl Jillian first, and two-and-a-half weeks later conceived baby boy Hudson, according to statements from KFSM-TV in Ft. Smith-Fayetteville, Ark.

Jillian and Hudson have different due dates, and this rare development is called superfetation – when a mother conceives another child while pregnant.

“It does really sound like this is a true case of different conception times for these children,” said Dr. Karen Boyle of the Greater Baltimore Medical Center. “When the woman had her ultrasound initially, they saw one sack, one baby developing, and that baby had a certain gestational age; then they noticed a second heartbeat in a child that was much, much younger developmentally.”

Dr. Boyle told ABC News she has only heard of 10 reported cases of superfetation.

However, superfetation cannot be absolutely determined until after the babies are born, and doctors are able to conduct chromosomal and metabolic tests on the babies.

Follow up about Jewelyn

With the recent death of our dear "nestie" I have done some research on her cause of death. It's amazing how in the year 2009 women can still die in childbirth, isn't that something that happened back in the medieval times, not now, at least that's what I thought. Jewelyn died from a Amniotic Fluid Embolism and Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation (AFES) which is a catastrophic condition that occurs during pregnancy or shortly after delivery. Suspected risk factors have included tumultuous labor, trauma, multiparity, increased gestational age, and increased maternal age. However, many patients who develop amniotic fluid embolism have no obvious risk factors and unfortunately there is not a lot that can be done.

The paypal account that was listed in the post below is still accepting donations, but if you have any diaper or formula coupons to send please forward those to:

The Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund
P.O. Box 235971
Encinitas, CA 92023-5971

Anything that is not used will be donated to the Liz Logelin foundation, which is a great foundation that was created by Matt Logelin after the death of his wife last March. I will discuss this foundation more in my next post.

Please if you can send some thoughts and prayers to the Okamoto family to help them get through this difficult time.