Its my blog and I'll vent if I want to!

I have to admit that I was shocked over the comments that came in over my Sarah Jessica Parker blog. So in response to the first comment, NOT the second. I get to have my venting session and y'all get to listen.

Now I have been dealing with infertility with going on two years here and I have to admit I'm really freaking getting sick of it! I have had to celebrate my friends and my not so friends babies at showers more times then I would like to admit. I have had to act happy and smile when people announce their pregnancies even when I want to scream "you don't deserve to be a parent!" I have to go to birthday parties and watch others celebrate their children when it should be me, not them. I hate what this has done to me, I have never been a jealous person, but that is what infertility has turned me into.

And to comment on all the stupid ass advice people have given me over the months, and yes it's STUPID!! First off, relaxing is not going to bring me a baby, and yes I have tried putting a pillow under my butt after sex, I have taken my temperature, and had sex when I was ovulating, and no I don't just want to adopt, we have a freaking medical condition that is hindering our baby making abilities so BACK OFF! This advice has come from friends and family that I love dearly, but they don't have a freaking clue, so please people get a clue. Stop giving advice and just be supportive.

I also have heard it all when it comes to the fertility treatments. I know that fertility treatments are not explained correctly in the media or on TV, so unless you have been there and done that I do not expect you to understand them. But please understand that IVF is not just for rich people, yes it's expensive, but couples save for months, even years, to be able to afford it, because they want a baby. And IVF does not give you 9 kids, like octomom. Also, IUI does not always end like Jon and Kate plus 8- just FYI there are only 14 sets of living sextuplets in the US- that is not that many compared to how many couples go through IUI every year. The goal of fertility treatments is to have ONE baby, not a litter.

In regards to donor eggs and donor sperm, sometimes that is a couples only option- and it can be very helpful in some cases, where there is a medical problem with either the female or the male. In regards to surrogacy, women do not do it because they are vain or do not want to get fat- women suffering from infertility would give their right leg to be pregnant. But there are medical conditions, such as severe cases of endometriosis,, or uterine fibroid, or even a cancer that can make it so a woman cannot carry her own child. So please, if you have an opinion about infertility or fertility treatments and you have not walked in our shoes please do not try, be supportive and just be there for us and support us through all our trials and tribulations and be there to celebrate the new life that will eventually arrive.

So thanks for listening to my rant, but it's my blog and I can bitch if I want to.

The Meaning of 333...

Hi, Folks. John here. I was having a spell of waking up night after night at 3:33 am. This kept happening night after night. One day I had to write a check and the sequence came up 333. After a few days of this it started to drive me nuts and I had to try and find a meaning.

I started to Google the meaning of 333. The first site I came across posted several Bible verses that had the chapter and verse 3:33. As I read on I found many references to the meaning as God is with you and also the number represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. Was this God's way of telling me he knows our pain and that he was with us?

It made me feel good as I read this. Maybe it meant God would would give us what we were longing for...a baby. Or he wanted us to do something. Maybe help those with infertility issues. Or he was just letting us he know he was there for us.

As I read on I came across an entry from a gentleman discussing how he was waking up at 3:33 on a regular basis as well. He then proceeded to tell a story about how a woman he knew said she had a dream about him and his wife having triplets. His wife wasn't pregnant at the time, but a month later she was. They didn't know what they were having yet, but it was interesting. Was God telling me we were having triplets? If 333 means God is with us then I certainly hope he is if we were going to have triplets.

The gentleman's post continued with stating his birthday, which happened to be mine as well. A posting after his talked about the same scenario and a another gentleman was waking up at 3:33, but the thing that got me was he shared the same birthday too.

I read all this just before we had our first IUI procedure. We have had two IUI's now and both times I was thinking we were going to have triplets. Of course if God was making up for lost time we most certainly would know we were blessed, but we would definitely have our hands full with triplets.

Well as you may have read in previous posts neither of our IUI procedures at this point have worked. So, no triplets yet. But I recently began to think of a new meaning.

Although, I always know God is with us maybe 333 equals 9. With next year being 2009maybe we will have a baby next year. And with all the references to my birthday maybe it will be born the same day.

I am looking forward to next year and all it has to bring and I know God is on our side.