I got the right "stuff" baby!

In a time where so much is going wrong in the world and so many Americans are dealing with tough times we continue to be blessed and thankful for all we have. Although there are days where that gets hard for me, a few weeks back it felt like everything was going wrong, everything we touched broke or blew up, and I am not kidding. In the matter of a week our microwave died, our laptop blew up, our DVR stopped working, and my sunroof in my car started to leak. I was literally at the end of the rope. It took a few weeks but we managed to get everything, except my sunroof (which has been an ongoing issue) repaired or replaced. We now have a new DVR, a new laptop, and a working microwave, life is good again!

During this time when I felt like my life was a mess, all because of a microwave, a DVR, a laptop, and a sunroof I was quickly brought back to reality when talking to my mom and sister. My sweet 17 month old nephew, Drennan, was diagnosed with cancer 6 months ago in December 2010 ~ a rhabdomyosarcoma in his pelvis (a soft tissue mass - not in the actual bone). He has been undergoing weeks and weeks of chemo and radiation, and he had a major surgery several weeks ago to remove his tumor. Now when talking to my family about my nephew all our broken "stuff" doesn't really seem that important, it's just "stuff". The "stuff" that my sister and nephew have to deal with is the important "stuff" it's not electronics, it's life, and life is so precious and fragile and in a second it can change and it may never be the same.

Two days ago, I was buried up to eye balls at work and in a bad mood- I was stressed out and overworked, life was looking pretty bleak for me, I was just all around in a bad mood. I logged onto my favorite message board (The Nest) to see what was going on, and hope to be distracted enough to try to clam down. Much to my dismay I was hit with the news that one of my fellow "nesties" 9 month old daughter was diagnosed with a very very raregenetic disorder, for which she will need a bone marrow transplant to be cured. Yet again, all my work "stuff" isn't important, here, yet again, is another precious life that is changed in the blink of an eye. You just never know. I have added a Pray for Kate button in the upper left hand corner of my blog- please click it, feel free to add it to your blog and pray for Kate, her mom Lindsey and dad Alex.

John and I are like every other married couple we argue and disagree over things, and sometimes we even get into heated discussions, but at the end of the day we love each other and are committed parents to Claire, but its moment's like these that make us appreciate what is really important in life. So hug your kids a little tighter tonight, and tell your husband, your mom, your dad, your best friend, whoever is closest to you in your life that you love them, and remember they are the "stuff" that matters. Also please keep Drennan and Kate in your prayers.

Happy Birthday monkey!! About a month ago we had a blow out party for monkey's first birthday. It was so fun decorating and planning for the party- it was a monkey theme and everything was hot pink and lime green, I'm sure we went over the top, but oh well! How many one year old's have a 3 tiered birthday cake? Well, ours did! She definitely liked her little smash cake- she went to town on it and had a blast doing it.

Our closest friends and family came and she was definitely spoiled in terms of presents. Everyone munched on kid friendly food, chicken fingers and grilled cheese sandwiches, thanks to some local restaurants, sorry people, but I don't cook for parties! I cannot believe how big she is getting, she is walking all over the place and into just about anything she can get her little paws on. We are enjoying her so much, and she brings so much joy to our lives, yes even at 4am when she wakes up in the middle of the night!

Bill and Guiliana IVF take 2!!

The Rancic's were on tonight and the episode starts with them starting their shots for their second IVF. I have to say that having been through the IVF process twice myself I think Guiliana is a BIG baby. I love her, don't get me wrong, but come on- those needles are TINY!! I did all my shots myself and never once did I cry. She was freaking out over the teeny tiny little needles. My husband just looked at me and said "you never complained once during IVF." WOW- it only took him a year and a half later to realize this.

As Guiliana was breaking down on the table before her egg retrieval all the emotions came flooding back- I remember that like it was yesterday. You are so full of hope, and it's such a roller coaster.

Guiliana also hosted her best friend and managers baby shower in this episode, I have to admit I teared up during that- she really put on a brave face and planned the baby shower, that was something I could never have done. Baby showers were evil for me- I avoided them like the plague when we were trying to get pregnant. So good for you G, that is so tough!!

Bill and Guiliana moving forwards!

Every week my husband and I tune into Bill and Guiliana on The Style Network, and this week as usual did not disappoint. I have said it so many times, but I just LOVE them! They are so cute together and are just a great couple.

I have to say kudos to Bill for that ring he got Guiliana, it was amazing! I told John I expect that at our next anniversary!

In this episode Guiliana and Bill have decided to move forward and do a second round of IVF, and she also had to break to news of her miscarriage to the public. As I was watching this episode I was holding my perfect 11 month old daughter in my arms, and I could not help but tear up.

IVF and infertility is so hard to go through in private, I cannot imagine going through it in the public eye- my heart just goes out to them as we have been there done that. Guiliana was telling Bill how going through this has made them a closer couple and that God has a plan and this is all happening for a reason.

I told myself that for years, but I remember sitting in my bed praying that I would get pregnant and for God to bless us with a child, then I would cry and cry and ask God, why was this happening to us, what had we done that was so bad that we deserved all this heartache? Now looking back it all makes sense. Nothing was meant to work, because we had to wait for our little angel to be born and to come into our lives. Even writing this I am fighting back the tears, because now I know she was meant to be ours, we just had to wait for her, and it was all worth it- every tear, every heart break, every minute was worth it.

We are ready to party!!

With monkey's first birthday party just around the corner, 10 days, but who's counting?! I am in full psycho stressed out mode! I am also dealing with getting everything ready for the holidays, and we have a jam packed schedule the next few weeks. I managed to get everything done and ordered- so now I have a few odds and ends to tie up for the party- but other then that we are ready to rock and roll.

I know we went overboard with this party- but honestly I don't care- we have waited so long to be able to celebrate our child's birthday and we are doing it in a big way. There were so many days that I thought I would never get to experience any of this- so I am treasuring each and every minute of it.

As if having a first birthday party, the holidays and preparing for my parents arrival to Vegas was not enough for this month- add in two court dates for our adoption, like we don't have enough going on. But these are BIG court dates- it's our TPR (termination of parental rights) hearing. That's right folks- we are very confident as is our case worker, that all parental ties to monkey's birth parents will be severed in less then 2 weeks, and then she is unofficially ours- we still have to finalize her adoption. So keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we are hoping to have even more to celebrate this Christmas.

Loving the Rancic's this season!

Bill and Guiliana Rancic's third season debuted last week with a very emotional episode which walks us through their first round of IVF- in the end it was successful, but as we know sadly her pregnancy will end around 9 weeks. The second episode of this season follows the Rancic's on the quest to find the perfect "family" house in Chicago suburbs.

It was a great episode, they are just so cute together. I have to admit after watching 2 seasons of them on their show the more and more I think Bill is John's long lost brother. They are SO much a like- both Croatian, both love real estate and finance, and both are somewhat conservative.
They also both have the same taste in women- I relate so well to Guiliana- she is outgoing, energetic, loves celebrity gossip (she works for E! News and has my dream job, by the way!) and is a total shopaholic.

This episode also follows the Rancic's while they are dealing with getting their estate planning in order, forming a trust and a living will. This is all stuff that John and I did about 2 years ago, and it's hard- you have to make some tough decisions about what happens to your things, and your children in the event of your death. Bill decided this was a good time to bring up the dreaded word to Guiliana "BUDGET". Guiliana did not take it so well, she said "budget,what's that?" I was laughing so hard at this point, because that's John in a financial conversation with me, I'm like "what budget, there is no budget". Gulinana then went on to say how her new leather jacket was a necessity- I know I have said that exact sentence to John at some point. John and I were laughing so hard- and John was just shaking his head going "see I told you!"

Bill went into how it's important to save and be financially secure for your children, but Guiliana was more worried about how she looks in her new leather jacket that she is modeling for Bill. In the end she agreed to the budget, which is where I am at with then entire thing- I just fold and will give in. I know John is right, and it's all for our future- but come on how can you pass up a sale!?

Overall it was a great episode, it really hit home for me, not only with the infertility and the IVF and all that stuff, but the other "daily" stuff that happens in a marriage and all the hurdles that you have to overcome to be a successful couple in life and in your marriage. Don't forgot to tune in next Monday Style Network 8pm.

A Bill and Guiliana Rancic Update

Bill and Guiliana Rancic opened up to the ladies of The View about their recent IVF. Now I have been impatiently waiting for their pregnancy announcement. Sadly, their first IVF ended in miscarriage. It is discussed in this weeks People Magazine, but you can see their heart breaking interview below. This breaks my heart, I know what they are going through and how hard of a journey infertility is. I just love them, I know they will be great parents when the time is right.

Infertility hits TLC!

I am so happy to report that yet another reality show has decided to discuss the trials and tribulations of a couple trying to have a baby. The Little Couple follows the lives of newlyweds Bill Klein and Jennifer Arnold, who both have dwarfism. The series debuted on TLC in 2009. Jen is 3'2" and Bill is 4 feet tall. They are currently living in a rental home in Houston, Texas until construction of their new home is completed. Jen is a neonatologist who works at the Texas Children's Hospital, and Bill is a business owner.

They spent most of season two discuss how to start a family, adoption, surrogacy, or Jen carring the baby. It was determined after many tests that it was not in Jen's best interest to carry her child. After meeting with the Center for Surrogate Parenting, Inc.(CSP) in Encino, California, they decided to move forward with surrogacy. So far Bill and Jen have just started their testing to make sure that they are fertile and able to conceive a child.

I love the fact that IVF, surrogacy, and infertility is being discussed out in the media, it gives so many people hope that they are ways to create a family. I love watching the show every week and seeing where there journey is headed.

Congrats to Celine Dion!

After what seems like forever Celine Dion is finally getting her happy ending, it was just announced that she is 14 weeks pregnant with twins, concieved through her sixth IVF attempt. She had embryos that were frozen from several years ago. This is great news, and although she is in her 40's her embryos are in the 30's since they were frozen years ago.

This brings up a endless debate of "how old is too old to have children"? Now many would argue that women over the age of 40 should not be allowed to undergo fertility treatments, because this is just too old to have children. There is many arguments that vary from the medical risks for a 40 something year old woman to have a child are just not worth it, and then there is the fact that can a 40 something woman have the engery to keep us with her growing child.

Dr Sher of the Sher Institute discusses the medical risks involved with having a child: "Yes there are age-related medical risks and it is indisputable that pregnancy in older women is associated with increased risk to both mother and baby. Pregnancy-induced complications (e.g. preeclampsia, gestational diabetes intrauterine growth retardation, premature separation of the placenta, preterm delivery, low birth weight, dysfunctional labor and cesarean section ) are all far more likely to occur in older women. However, this risk can be lessened by in advance identifying those older women who are most predisposed to developing such complications."

In terms of women not being able to keep up with the growing childen, we as humans are living longer these days, many women are living well into their eighties. Yes, there may be some compromises involved with the physical activitis that children take part in, there are other benefits to being an older parent, more life experiences, knowledge, and wisdom- everything is a trade off.

I strongly disagree that a physican should be able to deny a patient fertility treatments because of age, this is down right discrimination. However it is the duty of that physican to advise of the potential risks so the patient can make an educated informed decision.

As someone who dealt with infertility until you have walked in these infertile shoes you can have no opnion. You do not know what it feels like to not be able to have children. For some being pregnant and experiencing child birth is very important, and for those people they will go to the end of the earth to have that experience, even it means countless IVF's. Hat's off to Celine and her family, prayers for healthy pregnancy and happy babies in the fall!

Wow, what a difference a year makes!

If you would have asked me a year ago to describe my life right now there would have been no way that I could have done it accurately! In one year my life has totally turned around.

A year ago we were getting ready to start our first IVF, so full of hope that it would work on the first try and we soon would be celebrating my pregnancy. After the first IVF didn't work I was crushed, but still hopeful that the next time it would work.

I spent hours researching and meeting with different fertility specialists here in town and after much deliberation decided to switch doctors. Our second IVF went off without a hitch- everything went great- and then we got the best news of all- it had worked- I was pregnant. I remember driving home from work that day, it was like a weight had been lifted, I had forgotten what it felt like to not worry about getting pregnant.

Little did I know that all that happiness would be short lived- two days later we got devastating news that I was not pregnant- it had not worked, we were right back were we started. That week, the first week of August was the worst week of my entire life- that was the lowest point in all my life. My world was crushed, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Then somehow someway I managed to pull myself out of the hole I was living in and got some stuff together. I found a card in midst of all our business cards and it was for an adoption recruiter for the county. I called and they said the first step was to attend an informative meeting, and amazingly that meeting happened to be the following weekend. I showed up got the paperwork, told my husband that we were going to get fingerprinted and take these classes so we could possibly adopt through the county.

It all seemed to fall into place, everything just happened so quickly and by the end of September we were sitting in a classroom with 16 other couples learning how we could expand our family through adoption.

And here I sit almost 7 months after our first class- with my beautiful daughter sleeping like an angel in her crib upstairs. Who would have thought it. I have a new outlook on life- I know now that I can get through anything and that everything happens for a reason.

Do infertiles make better parents?

This is something that could possibly cause some drama in mommy world, but I do believe that people that have suffered through infertility and struggled to have children make better parents, because they want it more then other parents. I think that something happens to you when you really want something and you can't have it.

Research shows that families created with the help of fertility treatment compare favorably with families that conceived without treatment, especially after the first 12 months. There is some research that infertility patients are more anxious during pregnancy and their child’s first year of life, but the anxiety usually passes after that. Parents that conceive through IVF tend to be more protective of their children; more child focused; and show greater warmth towards their children. These studies have been small, but this supports what I see in real life.

Parents who chose to adopt rather than stay in infertility treatment also make great parents. Studies show that adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children than biological parents and “evidence a high level of strength in terms of warmth, communication, discipline, and cohesion.” Researchers speculate that “One of the reasons adoptive parents invest more is that they really want children, and they go to extraordinary means to have them.” Amen to that.

I have to admit that I worry about the effect of over protectiveness on kids, but I think our entire generation of parents is over protective, not just parents that conceived or adopted after years of trying. I don’t think we have a good grasp on how to weigh relative risks. We are overly worried about low chance risks such as stranger abduction; as a result we micromanage our kids’ lives because we are afraid to let them out of our sight. The older my kids get the more I believe that children need to learn certain lessons from failure and falling and figuring things out on their own. But that is the subject of a different blog.

Parents that have had to struggle to become parents sometimes have a hard time giving themselves permission to have the normal feelings of frustration that comes along with parenting. They may feel let down after all the years of anticipation. They may think they don’t have the right to complain about being tired, or wishing for a day to themselves, or craving time to wash their hair and shave their legs. But fortunately, these feeling also usually pass with time. Most parents of two year olds and teens feel pretty darn entitled to their frustration, regardless how they got their kids.

Infertility can affect the quality of parenting in two ways. Infertility treatment results in a disproportionately large number of multiple births, and much research supports that parenting twins and triplets is much more stressful on parents. Also, subsequent attempts at infertility treatment for a second child can add significant stress on parents. Of course we are all familiar with the John and Kate plus 8 situation- they wanted just "one more" and ended up with 6- talk about stress to a family!!

I seem to be drawn to people who have struggled to create their families, and I have no doubt that their kids are the most loved in the world. I know my child is certainly one of the most loved kids in the world, mostly because of the trail of tears, prayers, and struggles that it took to get her.

God only gives you what you can handle.

Tonight I watched a show on TLC titled "Quintuplet Surprise" and it was about Casey and Ethan Jones from Austin, TX that had 5 babies in January of 2009.

The story was great, they had gone through IUI using donor sperm, because the husband had very low sperm counts. This family had it all, a beautiful little 4 year old girl, an absolutely beautiful home, tropical vacations every year, and great careers. Then they had quints- and their lives changed forever. The husband kept saying that everyone tells them that their children were such a blessing, to which he said "who prayers to have 5 babies at one time?" Yes the quints are a blessing, but their life would never be the same.

The husband was a home builder and when the economy tanked so did his business- they had to sell their big beautiful home and move into a smaller home and money was a constant worry, so was keeping all 5 kids in diapers. They figured if all 5 could be potty trained by age 2 it would save them over $20,000 a year just in diapers!!

I began to think about my own life while watching this show- I used to pray for twins, or even triplets- you have to consider these options when going through fertility treatments. I just wanted to get pregnant, I didn't care with how many.

Now that I watch this show I really have a new appreciation for that saying "God does not give you more then you can handle" There would have been no way I could have handled more then one baby at a time, mentally or financially (especially with the economy taking a crap).

Our little monkey is just an angel- she is a good sleeper and a good eater- and I just have to stop and think this is what I was meant to deal with. I really believe that this was God's plan for me all along- because he knew what I could handle. John and I have such a schedule with monkey- our lives are not any different, expect that we take her with us, and we are doing just great.

My life is so rich and full right now, and it's all happening when it was meant to happen, I truly believe for the first time in my life that I am where I am meant to be and with the people I am meant to be with.

Giving advice in Target?!!

The other day I was at Target with the baby in the baby section and a pregnant lady comes up to me and says " do you know anything about these baby tubs?" and then I went into consumer report mode.

I started giving reviews of the baby bath tub. I had to tell her that I was not a fan of the bath tubs with slings and that I really liked the the Fisher Price Whale Tub- it's what I use and I have used it since our baby was 4 weeks old, so it's perfect even when the babies are small- and it grows with the baby.

I also told her it's a good price at under $25, when most of the other tubs are over $30.

She was so grateful for my help, she said that there is so much baby stuff out there and she had no clue and it was so nice to get a opinion from someone else.

I started thinking I love to shop, and I love to figure out the best product. So I am thinking is this my new career, doing baby reviews and helping moms to be shop for their little bundle of joy? Kinda like a baby planner?

HMMMM something to think about!

Did the Rancic's IVF work?!

If you watched The View last week you heard that Guiliana and Bill Rancic were doing IVF, now on the show they said they were starting IVF "next week" well as we know in show business nothing is as it seems. That View episode was taped, so little did we know that Guiliana has been in Chicago going through IVF, and not in LA, has anyone noticed her missing from E lately?!

I heard through the grapevine, or otherwise known as The Nest that the Rancic's IVF was successful and Guiliana is pregnant. I heard this from a nestie who had dinner with family friends of the Rancic's. Now, is this true or just a rumor, we will have to wait and find out!

Bill and Guiliana's sexy time!

Bill and Guiliana Rancic had their second episode which was on The Style Network last night. The episode was a continuation of their fertility battle and all about trying to conceive Baby Rancic. It starts out with them having dinner with friends who have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years, they are on their 5th IVF cycle. Guiliana was shocked to hear that IVF is a pretty invasive procedure. My heart really went out to their friends who were going through IVF, because I have been there done that- have the T shirt!

Bill and Guiliana decided to see and obgyn- who did basic tests on both them- it seems that Bill has a slight low sperm count- which is not really that big of a deal. The doctor suggested that they have sex every other day during their fertile time, which is very common- it's called the sperm meets egg timing. He also suggested that Guiliana use ovulation predictor kits to see when she is ovulating, always a good idea- I highly suggest them if trying to conceive.

Overall it was a good episode- although I feel that it does not correctly show infertility. A little basic- but basics are good. Guiliana made a good point, it's not all that easy to get pregnant, and a lot of people have a hard time. She hit that nail right on the head!

Just adopt and you will get pregnant!

That is the new saying I hear all the time, "now that you are adopting you will get pregnant" This is now the most annoying comment you can say to someone. Yeah right, signing those adoption papers will magically fix my husbands sperm and make everything work right! We had two failed IVF's- hello people. We couldn't get pregnant in a lab, what makes you think we can get pregnant naturally!?

Yes, there are a lot of women who adopt and then get pregnant- I am sure it helps to take the stress off, because stress does effect trying to conceive.

But in actuality only 8% of all couples that are faced with infertility who go onto adopt get pregnant.

So please to your friends who are adopting just say, "we are so excited for you, you guys will be great parents" and leave it at that!

Insurance Companies can suck it!

I was having a conversation with a girl the other day who was asking if she could talk to her human resources department about changing their insurance plan to cover fertility treatments. I told her to go for it- the worse they can say is no, right? After doing a little research we found out that 91% of employers offering infertility treatment have not experienced an increase in their medical costs as a result of providing this coverage.

So to make a long story a little shorter- my friend spoke to her HR department and was told that fertility treatments are a "life choice" and not something that will be covered under their plan, because having children is your choice.

Well, needless to say when I heard this I was furious, a life choice? Are you kidding me- yea and I chose to be infertile and deal with this shit!

It really infuriates me that my insurance will pay:

1. To treat someone who has diabetes, and that has that diabetes from poor eating choices, or being obsess, or not working out- and pretty much making poor life choices.

2. For oxygen for someone who has emphysema because they smoke- or the chemotherapy needed to treat the lung cancer that they will get from smoking. Isn't that a decision to put that cancer stick in your mouth? It freaking says on the box, if you smoke this you will get cancer, HELLO!

Smoking is a choice, drinking is a choice, poor eating habits and failure to work out is a choice- being infertile is not a choice. Infertility is a medically documented illness- and should be treated as any other disease. If you are not going to treat infertility or pay for the procedure to help infertile couples conceive then you may as well diagnose someone with cancer, or diabetes and say "well, you need chemo" but we will not pay for it. It's the same thing that happened to me and my husband, oh you need IVF, because your sperm sucks, but we won't pay for it- so you need to pay $15,000 cash for your procedure.

This is all because having children is a choice. Insurance companies, human resources managers, and politicians could not be more wrong. So until insurance companies tell those smokers with lung cancer and emphysema to come up with the money to pay for their chemo and their lung transplants us infertiles will continue to fight for equal insurance rights.

For more information on infertility and insurance companies visit resolve.org

My take on the embryo situation.

First off, I have to say that my heart goes out to this couple. First to go through the pain of infertility and then to go through IVF to get pregnant only to find out it's not your biological child, I can only imagine the pain that she is going through. I give her a lot of credit for being able to carry a child for another couple, I don't know if I could do that. On the other hand, what a wonderful gift she is giving to another infertile couple, a child is a priceless gift.

I do have to question this IVF lab that made this mix up, having gone through 2 IVF's at 2 different clinics I will say that security is very high and over and over you are saying your name and the lab is verifying that they are giving you the correct embryo. I remember right before my embryo transfer the lab tech asked me my name and double checked it against the petri dish that contained my embryo. So it's a shame that this happened, however humans are still involved and humans make mistakes, although this is a big mistake. But I can assure people that this does not happen everyday- this is a rare isolated incident. But that does not stop the ignorant opinionated people from voicing their opinions.

I have been on two different websites that both were playing the same video of this couple and I could not believe the comments that people were making. These were some of my personal favorites;
"Serves them right, that's what you get for messing with God's plan"
"People who go to these lengths to have kids are selfish"
"So what you can't have a baby, get over it!"
"Why don't you just adopt"
"IVF should be illegal, this is God's way of saying survival of the fittest."

Honestly, I really do not even know where to start. The people who said these disgusting comments should really learn to keep their mouths shut. They obvioulsy know nothing about fertility treatments and I really hope that none of them have to endure the hell of infertility. First of all, IVF is not playing God- there is still alot that has to happen once the embryo is transferred back into the uterus- and I feel that is when God's plan takes over. Secondly, there is nothing selfish about wanting to have your own children, that is a basic human desire, that everyone should get to experience if they choose to. The next comment upsets me the most, "get over it" are you serious! That is the rudest thing you can say to someone. As for the adoption comment- yes adoption is a great alternative for people to build their family- but for some it's not right. Personally, I am totally up for adoption, but I will still pursue fertility treatments to have my own children. And last but not least- God is weeding us out by making 1 in 6 couples infertile, does that mean that if you get cancer you should die, because that is God's plan? HELL NO! My life is not dictated by infertility- it's a disease just like Cancer, Diabetes, or AIDS- it's not a bad person's disease- it just happens, and you get through it, and it makes you stronger.

I hate that there are so many ignorant people in the world who feel that it's their duty to put other down, I think the old school rule of if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all applies in this case.

Couple Gets the Wrong Embryo, But Still Wants to Have the Child.

My opnion of The Daily Beast Article

After reading the article that was posted on The Daily Beast I was so mad I think there was smoke coming out of my ears. First off to call wanting to have a child an "obsession" is completely wrong! There is nothing obsessive about wanting to have a family, that is a basic human desire for some. I can think of nothing better to spend your time or money on, its a baby for goodness sake- not a pair of shoes.

To put others down for their decisions when they do not effect the lives of others is so wrong. My decision to pursue IVF does not in any way impact any one else, only me and my husband are affected. There were several people in this article that had medical issues that were causing issues and just because they used assisted reproductive technology (ART) in order to have a child that is wrong. I didn't know that having Hepatitis or HIV banded you from having children. If someone has a disease and they use ART in order to not pass a horrible disease onto their child that is smart, not wrong.

I do not wish infertility on anyone, but in this case- the author needs to walk a mile in our shoes and see how it feels to be disappointed month after month because you cannot get pregnant, then maybe she will have a different opinion about using whatever method necessary to have a baby. I am happy that we have the technologies available to us. This is an instance in which if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all!