This Sperm Will Self Destruct In One Hour

Well, we've taking the next big step and pulled out the big guns and have done our first IVF. After years of being unable to conceive naturally and a few IUI's with no results, our first IVF may have finally revealed our problem.

Sperm normally can live up to a week once implanted into the female. Giving it ample time to find where it needs to go. Mine on the other hand only has about an hour. Of course when trying naturally there was no way of knowing this and since the IUI's injected the little guys fairly quickly we had no idea they were dying. This is why nothing has been working. They never have a chance.

My sperm always seemed perfectly normal. Once the initial analysis was over there was no further checking for any other problems and this was never caught until now.

This has been very disheartening as we thought this was going to be the fix all. To be so excited thinking this was the one to feeling doubt just sucks. We did implant 6 eggs. One at least looked pretty good and one is all it takes. See Shannon's post for more of what happened.

For those of you who follow us please pray for us. I feel just horrible that we may not be parents once again. I know Shannon will be devastated. I can't bare to see her disappointed again.

I don't understand why this has happened to the people who are known as "the couple who have everything". This may be the one thing we can't have. We are loving, have a nice home, are able to support ourselves and a child or children, and we would love our child as much as we love each other. I have heard the theory that we pick our parents, but does no one want to pick us? I don't know why that would be.

There are so many people who obviously don't want children. They have abortions, chloroform their kids and leave in car trunks for dead, smother them and bury them in the park, try to sell them on Craigslist, and through them in trash cans. Why do they get to conceive and we do not?

I have to think God wants us to tell our story and help others. But right now I feel we need the help. God please Bring Us A Baby.

I Feel This Guys Pain

Hi, Folks. John here. Although, this is not me in this video, I feel like him on an almost daily basis. My semen analysis has been great and my boys are swimming like champs. Shannon seems fine too and she has her lap on Wednesday so maybe we will learn more. If the doctor finds anything I hope it will be an easy fix. Shannon has a friend that got pregnant after her lap so I hope we have the same results.

For those of you going through infertility you know what this gentleman feels like. For those who don't, I feel this video shows the emotions of those going through infertility issues like us.

My kudos to this gentleman for posting his video and sharing his story.

Friends Having Babies...There is Hope for us Yet.

Our good friends had their second child yesterday. They have had their share of infertility issues, but never really pursued any medical treatment. And haven't endured any of the drugs, shots, blood taking or doctor appointments. But it has taken them 8 years to have 2 children.

John and I have been friends since elementary school and grew up in the same neighborhood. Sometimes, I wonder if there is something in the water here in Las Vegas or it's just this town causing infertility. I know the facts about infertility, but sometimes you wonder is their something going on? Just like cancer. I know so many people going through that it's like what's up?

My Friend John is the same age as me, but he started trying having kids a lot sooner. Although, they had trying times like us he had a little more time.

I guess I worry that I will be too old to play with our kids or won't see them graduate or get married or have children of their own. But that doesn't mean we quit trying or give up hope.

We have had more than one friend recently get pregnant, who have been having infertility issues too, which gives such a great sense of hope. I believe if someone else can do it so can we. Our turn is next.

Onto Cycle #2

Well, the first Clomid cycle didnt work so we have moved onto Clomid cycle #2. So yet more doctors appointments. If anyone had told me it was this hard to have a baby I would have laughed at them! All the money I spent on birth control pills, WASTED!

What infertility has done to me I do not think I could ever explain, unless you have gone through it, its a feeling that you wish on no one! I truly believe I have become a stronger person because of this struggle, however I keep thinking my heart cannot handle another disappointment. Every cycle gone by and every month of not having a baby it breaks my heart. I watch other people with the kids and I know that will be us one day, I just do not know when. Every month I get the Pottery Barn kids catalog, and every month I admire all the cute crib bedding, I swear I have the nursery designed in my head, but every month it gets a little harder to look through that catalog.

I cannot even bring myself to look at baby stuff anymore, trips to Target have gotten more difficult. I cannot make the dreaded trip to Babies R Us, thank god for online ordering.

I know when I finally get to hold my precious baby in my arms this will have all been worth it. But right at this momemt my heart is broken. I try so hard to look forward to each cycle with optimisism and excitment, but it gets harder and harder.