How to manage a marriage

When John and I were engaged we went to a 10 week marriage class that was help at our church and it was great, we learned so much about each other, however it did come up that I had very unrealistic expectations of what marriage was. Our counselors told us that it was normal since I never been married before, but I needed to remember that marriage is work, and its not all sunshine and rainbows. Now almost 3 years after our wedding I totally agree with them. Marriage is not easy, you have to work at it. There is always going to be something that comes in in life that can complicate things. John and I have been lucky that we have not had to deal with any major life issue, no family deaths or sickness, no unemployment (knock on wood), no life threatening medical issues. All in all we are doing pretty good. However, infertility has been a big hurdle in our life, not so much in our marriage. I think the first year that we were trying John thought I was nuts he wanted to have a baby, but he was not in a big hurry. By the second year I think we were finally on the same page, he was ready and I was certainly ready. We pretty much had several all out fights and crying sessions over it, we both decided that we would do whatever it takes to have a child. I know so many couples that struggle with infertility and don't make it, either they break up after they have a child, which seems like such a waste, and others never make it to that point. Some break up because one wants a child and the other does not, some break up over infertility issues. It really is so important to talk about it and know where you partner stands on fertility treatments and to what extent you are willing to go. There can be a lot of ethical issues and personal morals that are tested when you start talking about IVF, donor eggs, donor sperm, or adoption. So honesty is very important you cannot hold back anything. I am very lucky that God blessed with a man as patient as John, I know I test his patience at least once a day! He is an exeptional man and will be an exceptional father. That is what keeps me going some days, I want to see him look into his child's eyes, I want to have something that we created together.

Brad Paisley was recently on American Idol performing his new song, Then, it will be released on a new CD titled American Saturday Night. The chorus of the song is great I just love it!

And now you're my whole life
now you're my whole world
I just can't believe the way I feel about you, now
Like a river meets the sea,
stronger than it's ever been.
We've come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

So here's to you my darling John, I couldn't ask for a better partner in this rollar coaster we call life. Hugs and kisses!