Fertility news everywhere!

Once upon a time in a fairytail world, a woman's ovaries were her own private affair and baby making was private conversation, not the topic of girl's power lunches, blogs, websites, or TV dramas, such as Sex and the City, Brothers and Sisters, and Private Practice, or big budget movies such as Baby Mama. Desperate women struggling with fertility issues whispered to their doctors about their trials and tribulations and secretely took drugs to stimulate their follicles and crossed their fingers that they would become pregnant. Today, eggs,donor sperm, IVF, IUI, and fertility drugs are the topic of open conversation, and everyone is eager to hear about everyone elses's problems. Its the "Ill tell you what's what with me, if you tell me what's wrong with you". Even politicians are in the fertility limelight. Sarah Palin's baby, Trig, was born when she was 44. And the newly appointed New York senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, cast a vote in Congress the day before giving birth to son Henry at age 41 last May. So baby making is the new hot topic, babies and Bugaboo strollers are the newest accessory in Hollywood. Throw away that Hermes Birkin bag ladies, and get a baby!

And yet with all the news that is out in the world about infertility, many young women still don't fully understand the facts about age as a risk factor for infertility. Women are starting families much later in life, they are going to school longer, pursuing careers and thinking that they can wait to have children, and their Ob-Gyns don't always tell them that they need to be concerned with their age and how long they really have to concieve and carry a healty baby to term. With all the 40 something Hollywood mothers like Marcia Cross and Molly Ringwald (some of whom are presumably using donor eggs or IVF to get pregnant) and cases like Palin and Gillibrand reassure them that time is on their side so its okay to wait.

This week, the American Fertility Association (AFA) is launching "Manicures & Martinis" at the Dashing Diva Nail Salon in Manhattan. This is the first in a series of one-hour conversations about reproductive health that is geared towards women in thier 20's and 30's. Its meant for women who want children, but aren't ready just yet. It will feature a leading fertility expert, who will talk about the reality of the biological clock and other risk factors for infertility. There will also be martinis as well as a non alcohol "fertilitini."

The Bachelor

To all of us who love reality tv, this post is for you. I am loving this season of The Bachelor- Jason is a single dad of Tyler, and all the women on the show are claiming they are ready to be instant parents. I have to laugh when listening to them. They don't have a clue what it takes to be a parent, they think that all they have to do is marry Jason and they are an instant family. I also think its funny when the girls who are late twenties early thirties are saying "I am so ready to settle down, and have kids eventually" Eventually? hello your biological clock is ticking. Yes, they are still young and have time to have kids, but women seriously take their fertility for granted and there comes a time where you need to get your life together. Here John and I are going to great lenghts to have our children, and these girls think the day you say "ok its time for a baby" that it will happen the next day. People forget that the average time to concieve a child is nine months. So it takes time, its not something that we have command to happen. I wish. So to all those girls who can't get enought of The Bachelor, and I am one of them, here's to Jason picking the right woman for himself and for Tyler!

Infertility Myth #5

THE ENERGIZER BUNNY MYTH
“My biological clock keeps ticking; I can’t afford to take a month off from treatment, even though I could desperately use a break.”

This rings true to my life right now. We are taking a break from treatments so I can have my lap surgery, and since I cannot get in for that until January 14th we are on a break cycle this month. In a way it is kind of nice to just relax and not deal with doctors appointments and what dosage of medicine to inject myself with. But in another way I am sad because we are not doing anything this month to get pregnant, so in a way I feel like every day is a waste. I know that one month is nothing in the grand scene of life, but in a way my life has been has been so centered around getting pregnant that I do not know what to do with myself or my time.

It may be healthy to take a short respite from medical treatment to reassess your situation and renew your energy. As one person put it, “Suspending treatment for a couple of months was such a treat! It rejuvenated me physically and allowed me to reconnect with my husband emotionally and sexually. It was great to live like a normal, married couple for a while. I felt better prepared to continue the difficult work of infertility treatment.” No one can keep going and going, we are not the energizer bunny, and sometimes its healthy to take a step back, however hard it may be.