Crossroads
9 years ago
Showing posts with label embryo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embryo. Show all posts
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The ignorace of some people!!
This was posted in The Daily Beast today and boy does it stir up a lot of emotions in me and other people going through fertility treatments, enjoy:
From embryo adoption to sperm washing, making a baby is easier—and more complicated—than ever. Doree Shafrir on parenthood's new frontier.
Today's birth announcements come in all shapes and sizes. "Steve and Michael are Preggers!" "Sally, Maria, and Sebastian are Having Twins!" "It's an Adopted Frozen Embryo!"
We live in an age when the obsession with having a child has reached a fever pitch. Single men and women, and couples gay and straight, have more options than ever before—and they're taking advantage of every single one of them. The $4 billion fertility industry has couples going to untold lengths to conceive, and has pushed pregnancy toward the realm of science fiction. People are adopting embryos that would have otherwise been used for stem-cell research, and HIV-infected sperm is being washed clean so it can fertilize an egg. (Whose egg? Maybe the 50-something single lesbian's.) There are sperm banks offering discounts to soldiers who want to store their sperm for their wives to impregnate themselves with in case they die overseas. And more and more often, close family members are acting as surrogates.
With the art of baby-making going from surrealist to abstract, The Daily Beast talked to couples (and singles) whose paths to parenthood were circuitous, but perhaps all the more touching for the length of the journey.
The Sister-in-Law Surrogate
Mindy Denney, a former TV news anchor, had a partial hysterectomy at 19 because of hemophilia in her family; she still had eggs, but no uterus. When she started thinking about having children, she turned to her sister-in-law, Gina, whom she'd known since junior high school. Over a bottle of wine, Mindy and her husband discussed it with Mindy's brother and Gina, and Gina agreed. "For three months she had to take huge progesterone shots in her back every day," Mindy said of Gina's ordeal. "We had to get our cycles together." Mindy's cycle had to be lined up with Gina's so that Gina's uterus would be ready to receive the eggs at the exact moment they were ready.
Diagnosing an Embryo
Mindy also knew she was a carrier for hemophilia—the reason she'd had the partial hysterectomy—and so her embryos underwent PGD, or preimplantation genetic diagnosis. "We had 13 embryos, with eight cells to each embryo. They'd pull one cell off at a time and send it to a clinic, and the clinic would test that one cell and send us back the paperwork and say this one has PGD, this one doesn't, etc. We only had 13 embryos in consideration." Of course this raises the issue of genetic selection, as Mindy herself points out: "People say, oh, you decided not to have the hemophilia child." She declined to say what happened to the rest of the embryos.
The first two clinics Mindy tried refused to work with her because of the genetic disease issues. The third, the Huntington Reproductive Clinic in Southern California, agreed. "The doctor said, I've never done anything like this before. Let's do it," said Mindy.
Adopting Her Own Son
After the embryo was successfully implanted in her sister-in-law—who was living in Austin, Texas—Mindy discovered, months later, that there was another potential wrinkle: She had to get a court order saying that she and her husband, not her sister-in-law and her brother, were the parents. "Otherwise, we would have had to adopt our own son," she said. Today, Mindy's son Alec is a healthy 3 year old. But she and her husband know if they want to have more biological children they'll have to find a new surrogate: While she was pregnant with Alec, Gina developed the anti-E antibody, a condition that can result when a mother's blood type is incompatible with her child's. As a result, Gina is unable to carry any more children as a surrogate, though she can still have more of her own biological children.
Sperm Washing
Today, even a man who’s HIV-positive can conceive with relative safety—he just needs to get his sperm washed first. Dr. Ann Kiessling, a researcher at Harvard Medical School and the founder of the Bedford Stem Cell Research Foundation, pioneered the use of so-called sperm washing in the United States. Sperm washing can be used when a man with HIV wants his own biological child but wants to be sure he doesn’t pass along the virus.
The process foregoes soap and water, and skips right to the spin cycle. Sperm is spun in a centrifuge and the healthy, presumably non-HIV-infected sperm are the ones that are left in the center. The healthy sperm are then fertilized using IVF or through the "cup" insemination method. According to Kiessling, 101 babies in the U.S. have been born using this method since 1998. "We were going to have a big party when we got to 100, but we realized that most people who have gone through this don't want people to know who they are," she said. "There are quite a number of pregnancies ongoing now."
At first, she said, she had trouble finding fertility specialists who were willing to work with sperm that had been "washed." "Vladimir Troche, who runs a fertility program in Arizona, was the very first to step forward and said, I'll help you with these people. After he started, other programs had started." Sperm washing can also be used by men with hepatitis B, which, according to Kiessling, is "one of the few viruses that can infect the developing embryo."
Claiming a Frozen Embryo
Monica, a 38-year-old woman living with her husband Gary outside of Philadelphia, is pregnant with her first child. But the baby won't share any genetic material with either her or her husband. That's because she adopted the frozen leftover embryos of a Milwaukee woman who had undergone fertility treatments. Many women who undergo IVF either discard their leftover embryos or donate them for stem-cell research. But some IVF users—especially Christian ones—believe that life begins at conception and refuse to destroy or donate their leftover embryos. Instead, they pay to keep them frozen and, in a process that has become similar to adopting a child, wait for the right person to come along to adopt the embryo. The resulting children have come to be called snowflake babies.
Monica went through an agency called Embryos Alive, which has been run by a Cincinnati woman named Bonnie Bernard since September 2003. Bernard matches leftover embryos with women like Monica; the embryo donors must approve each adoption. "On her Web site there's a list of the anonymous donors—what they look like and what they're looking for, and how many embryos they have," Monica explained. "It also says what the mother and father's backgrounds are, and what faith or religious beliefs they have." The couple she chose to adopt her embryos “was perfect,” says Monica. “They fit what we look like and our Christian beliefs, and they wanted a closed adoption.”
Monica and Gary had to submit a background check, birth certificates, baptismal records, deed to their house, health-insurance cards, proof of life insurance, and information about the neighborhood they lived in, as well as three letters of recommendation. Bernard's fee for everything was $3,200.
The Adoptee's Adoption
When it came time for the embryos to actually be transferred, however, Monica hit an unexpected snag: The father of the donated embryos was himself adopted, and had incomplete medical records. Several fertility clinics they contacted refused to do the transfer because of his unknown medical background. "They were afraid they would contaminate the other embryos," said Monica. She finally found a clinic in Delaware that would do the transfer, for which she paid $3,500. Despite these fees, Monica said, embryo adoption "was the most affordable way to go about having my own child." She’s due two days after Christmas.
The Divorcees' Conception
Dr. John Jain, who founded the Santa Monica Fertility Specialists clinic, recalls one patient who had frozen her eggs at age 40 when it seemed that she and her husband would divorce. One year later, at age 41, they reconciled, and the couple came back to Jain's clinic for IVF after she had had a miscarriage. "Miscarriages at that age are related to chromosomal abnormalities—the egg gives rise to genetically abnormal embryos," said Jain. At that point, he said, the patient decided to use her frozen eggs. "I decided to do ZIFT (zygote intrafallopian transfer). I put the eggs in her Fallopian tubes. This was a woman who was in her forties and likelihood of pregnancy through any standard in vitro fertilization method is poor. She'd already had a miscarriage, which showed eggs were on downward side of quality." ZIFT is a laproscopic surgery performed under general anesthesia. Through ZIFT, the woman ended up with a healthy baby.
Seeking Single Motherhood
Staceyann Chin, a lesbian author, poet, and activist, is working on a documentary called Baby Makes Me with the filmmaker Tiona McClodden about attempting to become a single mother. The documentary, which will begin shooting soon, will also explore other women's nontraditional paths to become mothers. "Even if I did have a kid with a partner, I'd be making the choice to have a child who will grow up without a father," said Chin, who has started visiting sperm banks to explore her options. "This whole idea of choosing a kid—when you go to buy sperm, you have Chinese sperm, black sperm, white sperm. You can pay extra to look at a picture of the donor as a baby, to see what your baby might look like."
Chin, who grew up in Jamaica of African and Chinese ancestry, said that embarking on this quest has also raised difficult questions about race. "I had this idea that I'd like to have a kid that looks like me," she said. "When you have a kid, you think, 'My child is going to look like me and my boyfriend.' So that we all look like a family, if i was with another black woman I would choose black sperm. When you don't have that in mind when you're going solo, it's an eeny miney mo setup. You get to manipulate the race of your kid."
Making Other People's Babies
Rick Dillwood and his wife, Amelia, who have been married for seven years, don't have children themselves, and have no plans to. But there will be five children who owe their existence to the two of them. Several months ago, Dillwood, a 29-year-old grad student in North Carolina, donated sperm to his friends, a lesbian couple named Melanie and Karen, who used to be his neighbors. Their baby, a girl, is due in November. And before Amelia, who is now 34, met Rick, she had donated eggs. "So there are four children in the world who share my wife's genetic material who she has no contact with," said Dillwood. "Those kids can contact her when they're old enough. I think part of the reason that Melanie and Karen approached us is because they realized we were into the idea that we didn't want to be responsible for our biological children."
Before Dillwood handed over his sperm, Melanie and Karen drafted a contract stipulating that he knows why he's doing this and what it will lead to. "I have no say in anything about the child," said Dillwood. "I'm not responsible financially in any way for the child." Dillwood said he's not telling his parents about his daughter until the so-called second family adoption goes through. "A couple years ago, my mom said, 'Do you think you're ever going to have kids?' And I said, 'I don't think.' My parents are pretty traditional, and I could tell that didn't make any logical sense to her. So now I'm going to tell her that not only am I not going to have kids, but I'm giving kids to someone else."
Dillwood made a 10-minute film about his experience called How to Make a Heartbeat that screened at the Austin Gay and Lesbian Film Festival last week. His parents, he said, don't know about the documentary, either.
The Homeless Fetus
Dan Savage, editor of the Seattle alt-weekly The Stranger and the writer of the Savage Love sex advice column, adopted his son D.J. from a homeless woman before the child was even born. Savage has written extensively about D.J.'s adoption in two books: The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant and The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage and My Family. D.J.'s birth mother, whom Savage calls Melissa in his writing, was an inconsistent presence in his life in his early years; there was a period of about a year and a half where Savage thought she was dead. But today they see her about once a year. "She's no longer homeless," said Savage. "She's settled a little more than she used to be. The thing that's complicated now is that it takes them a little time to warm up to each other. D.J.'s shy and so is his mom."
Savage was quick to clarify reports that labeled Melissa a drug addict. "She was using drugs and alcohol in recreational quantities when she got pregnant. The minute she found out she was pregnant, she stopped."
Nine months after D.J. was born, his father showed up. "Then he disappeared and we never heard from him again." Today, Savage is in touch with his son's step-grandmother (his biological grandfather's wife), and says that no one knows where D.J.'s father is; he does know that "D.J. has a half sibling out there somewhere."
From embryo adoption to sperm washing, making a baby is easier—and more complicated—than ever. Doree Shafrir on parenthood's new frontier.
Today's birth announcements come in all shapes and sizes. "Steve and Michael are Preggers!" "Sally, Maria, and Sebastian are Having Twins!" "It's an Adopted Frozen Embryo!"
We live in an age when the obsession with having a child has reached a fever pitch. Single men and women, and couples gay and straight, have more options than ever before—and they're taking advantage of every single one of them. The $4 billion fertility industry has couples going to untold lengths to conceive, and has pushed pregnancy toward the realm of science fiction. People are adopting embryos that would have otherwise been used for stem-cell research, and HIV-infected sperm is being washed clean so it can fertilize an egg. (Whose egg? Maybe the 50-something single lesbian's.) There are sperm banks offering discounts to soldiers who want to store their sperm for their wives to impregnate themselves with in case they die overseas. And more and more often, close family members are acting as surrogates.
With the art of baby-making going from surrealist to abstract, The Daily Beast talked to couples (and singles) whose paths to parenthood were circuitous, but perhaps all the more touching for the length of the journey.
The Sister-in-Law Surrogate
Mindy Denney, a former TV news anchor, had a partial hysterectomy at 19 because of hemophilia in her family; she still had eggs, but no uterus. When she started thinking about having children, she turned to her sister-in-law, Gina, whom she'd known since junior high school. Over a bottle of wine, Mindy and her husband discussed it with Mindy's brother and Gina, and Gina agreed. "For three months she had to take huge progesterone shots in her back every day," Mindy said of Gina's ordeal. "We had to get our cycles together." Mindy's cycle had to be lined up with Gina's so that Gina's uterus would be ready to receive the eggs at the exact moment they were ready.
Diagnosing an Embryo
Mindy also knew she was a carrier for hemophilia—the reason she'd had the partial hysterectomy—and so her embryos underwent PGD, or preimplantation genetic diagnosis. "We had 13 embryos, with eight cells to each embryo. They'd pull one cell off at a time and send it to a clinic, and the clinic would test that one cell and send us back the paperwork and say this one has PGD, this one doesn't, etc. We only had 13 embryos in consideration." Of course this raises the issue of genetic selection, as Mindy herself points out: "People say, oh, you decided not to have the hemophilia child." She declined to say what happened to the rest of the embryos.
The first two clinics Mindy tried refused to work with her because of the genetic disease issues. The third, the Huntington Reproductive Clinic in Southern California, agreed. "The doctor said, I've never done anything like this before. Let's do it," said Mindy.
Adopting Her Own Son
After the embryo was successfully implanted in her sister-in-law—who was living in Austin, Texas—Mindy discovered, months later, that there was another potential wrinkle: She had to get a court order saying that she and her husband, not her sister-in-law and her brother, were the parents. "Otherwise, we would have had to adopt our own son," she said. Today, Mindy's son Alec is a healthy 3 year old. But she and her husband know if they want to have more biological children they'll have to find a new surrogate: While she was pregnant with Alec, Gina developed the anti-E antibody, a condition that can result when a mother's blood type is incompatible with her child's. As a result, Gina is unable to carry any more children as a surrogate, though she can still have more of her own biological children.
Sperm Washing
Today, even a man who’s HIV-positive can conceive with relative safety—he just needs to get his sperm washed first. Dr. Ann Kiessling, a researcher at Harvard Medical School and the founder of the Bedford Stem Cell Research Foundation, pioneered the use of so-called sperm washing in the United States. Sperm washing can be used when a man with HIV wants his own biological child but wants to be sure he doesn’t pass along the virus.
The process foregoes soap and water, and skips right to the spin cycle. Sperm is spun in a centrifuge and the healthy, presumably non-HIV-infected sperm are the ones that are left in the center. The healthy sperm are then fertilized using IVF or through the "cup" insemination method. According to Kiessling, 101 babies in the U.S. have been born using this method since 1998. "We were going to have a big party when we got to 100, but we realized that most people who have gone through this don't want people to know who they are," she said. "There are quite a number of pregnancies ongoing now."
At first, she said, she had trouble finding fertility specialists who were willing to work with sperm that had been "washed." "Vladimir Troche, who runs a fertility program in Arizona, was the very first to step forward and said, I'll help you with these people. After he started, other programs had started." Sperm washing can also be used by men with hepatitis B, which, according to Kiessling, is "one of the few viruses that can infect the developing embryo."
Claiming a Frozen Embryo
Monica, a 38-year-old woman living with her husband Gary outside of Philadelphia, is pregnant with her first child. But the baby won't share any genetic material with either her or her husband. That's because she adopted the frozen leftover embryos of a Milwaukee woman who had undergone fertility treatments. Many women who undergo IVF either discard their leftover embryos or donate them for stem-cell research. But some IVF users—especially Christian ones—believe that life begins at conception and refuse to destroy or donate their leftover embryos. Instead, they pay to keep them frozen and, in a process that has become similar to adopting a child, wait for the right person to come along to adopt the embryo. The resulting children have come to be called snowflake babies.
Monica went through an agency called Embryos Alive, which has been run by a Cincinnati woman named Bonnie Bernard since September 2003. Bernard matches leftover embryos with women like Monica; the embryo donors must approve each adoption. "On her Web site there's a list of the anonymous donors—what they look like and what they're looking for, and how many embryos they have," Monica explained. "It also says what the mother and father's backgrounds are, and what faith or religious beliefs they have." The couple she chose to adopt her embryos “was perfect,” says Monica. “They fit what we look like and our Christian beliefs, and they wanted a closed adoption.”
Monica and Gary had to submit a background check, birth certificates, baptismal records, deed to their house, health-insurance cards, proof of life insurance, and information about the neighborhood they lived in, as well as three letters of recommendation. Bernard's fee for everything was $3,200.
The Adoptee's Adoption
When it came time for the embryos to actually be transferred, however, Monica hit an unexpected snag: The father of the donated embryos was himself adopted, and had incomplete medical records. Several fertility clinics they contacted refused to do the transfer because of his unknown medical background. "They were afraid they would contaminate the other embryos," said Monica. She finally found a clinic in Delaware that would do the transfer, for which she paid $3,500. Despite these fees, Monica said, embryo adoption "was the most affordable way to go about having my own child." She’s due two days after Christmas.
The Divorcees' Conception
Dr. John Jain, who founded the Santa Monica Fertility Specialists clinic, recalls one patient who had frozen her eggs at age 40 when it seemed that she and her husband would divorce. One year later, at age 41, they reconciled, and the couple came back to Jain's clinic for IVF after she had had a miscarriage. "Miscarriages at that age are related to chromosomal abnormalities—the egg gives rise to genetically abnormal embryos," said Jain. At that point, he said, the patient decided to use her frozen eggs. "I decided to do ZIFT (zygote intrafallopian transfer). I put the eggs in her Fallopian tubes. This was a woman who was in her forties and likelihood of pregnancy through any standard in vitro fertilization method is poor. She'd already had a miscarriage, which showed eggs were on downward side of quality." ZIFT is a laproscopic surgery performed under general anesthesia. Through ZIFT, the woman ended up with a healthy baby.
Seeking Single Motherhood
Staceyann Chin, a lesbian author, poet, and activist, is working on a documentary called Baby Makes Me with the filmmaker Tiona McClodden about attempting to become a single mother. The documentary, which will begin shooting soon, will also explore other women's nontraditional paths to become mothers. "Even if I did have a kid with a partner, I'd be making the choice to have a child who will grow up without a father," said Chin, who has started visiting sperm banks to explore her options. "This whole idea of choosing a kid—when you go to buy sperm, you have Chinese sperm, black sperm, white sperm. You can pay extra to look at a picture of the donor as a baby, to see what your baby might look like."
Chin, who grew up in Jamaica of African and Chinese ancestry, said that embarking on this quest has also raised difficult questions about race. "I had this idea that I'd like to have a kid that looks like me," she said. "When you have a kid, you think, 'My child is going to look like me and my boyfriend.' So that we all look like a family, if i was with another black woman I would choose black sperm. When you don't have that in mind when you're going solo, it's an eeny miney mo setup. You get to manipulate the race of your kid."
Making Other People's Babies
Rick Dillwood and his wife, Amelia, who have been married for seven years, don't have children themselves, and have no plans to. But there will be five children who owe their existence to the two of them. Several months ago, Dillwood, a 29-year-old grad student in North Carolina, donated sperm to his friends, a lesbian couple named Melanie and Karen, who used to be his neighbors. Their baby, a girl, is due in November. And before Amelia, who is now 34, met Rick, she had donated eggs. "So there are four children in the world who share my wife's genetic material who she has no contact with," said Dillwood. "Those kids can contact her when they're old enough. I think part of the reason that Melanie and Karen approached us is because they realized we were into the idea that we didn't want to be responsible for our biological children."
Before Dillwood handed over his sperm, Melanie and Karen drafted a contract stipulating that he knows why he's doing this and what it will lead to. "I have no say in anything about the child," said Dillwood. "I'm not responsible financially in any way for the child." Dillwood said he's not telling his parents about his daughter until the so-called second family adoption goes through. "A couple years ago, my mom said, 'Do you think you're ever going to have kids?' And I said, 'I don't think.' My parents are pretty traditional, and I could tell that didn't make any logical sense to her. So now I'm going to tell her that not only am I not going to have kids, but I'm giving kids to someone else."
Dillwood made a 10-minute film about his experience called How to Make a Heartbeat that screened at the Austin Gay and Lesbian Film Festival last week. His parents, he said, don't know about the documentary, either.
The Homeless Fetus
Dan Savage, editor of the Seattle alt-weekly The Stranger and the writer of the Savage Love sex advice column, adopted his son D.J. from a homeless woman before the child was even born. Savage has written extensively about D.J.'s adoption in two books: The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant and The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage and My Family. D.J.'s birth mother, whom Savage calls Melissa in his writing, was an inconsistent presence in his life in his early years; there was a period of about a year and a half where Savage thought she was dead. But today they see her about once a year. "She's no longer homeless," said Savage. "She's settled a little more than she used to be. The thing that's complicated now is that it takes them a little time to warm up to each other. D.J.'s shy and so is his mom."
Savage was quick to clarify reports that labeled Melissa a drug addict. "She was using drugs and alcohol in recreational quantities when she got pregnant. The minute she found out she was pregnant, she stopped."
Nine months after D.J. was born, his father showed up. "Then he disappeared and we never heard from him again." Today, Savage is in touch with his son's step-grandmother (his biological grandfather's wife), and says that no one knows where D.J.'s father is; he does know that "D.J. has a half sibling out there somewhere."
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Our blast and future child
We had our embryo transfer this afternoon. We transferred one great looking blast- and two others will be frozen tomorrow. Our doctor stated that we should transfer one because of the great quality and my young age. He said that transferring two really only increases our chances of having twins. Our clinic specializes in single embryo transfers (SET) because they do a special test (embryo marker expression test) to check and see which embryos have the best chances of implanting, all three of our blasts scored well on the test. So here's to a few days of rest and relaxation.
Please God let this be it!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Fertilization Report!
I can barely keep the tears from flowing as I write this, but wait, they are tears of JOY!! I was not expecting to hear from the doctor until this afternoon, but lone and behold he called at about 10AM this morning. When he called he said, Hey Shannon it's Dr. F I have your fert report then he said "are you sitting down" I though oh no, here it comes bad news. But no, he said first off all 10 eggs were mature- there was one that was a little slow- but it caught up so we were 10 for 10 for mature eggs, and then on top of that we had a 100% fertilization rate- all 10 eggs fertilized!
I think my heart stopped when he said that! He said they are going to do the marker test, which helps them pick the best embryos to transfer- and we are still pushing out for a 5 day transfer on Tuesday, other than that I didn't hear anything else, I just kept saying 'thank you so much' over and over and then hung up and burst into tears. I am so happy! I know we still have a long way to go, but this was great news and I need to just enjoy this for the time being.
I cannot beleive what a change from our last IVF- we had a 50% fert rate before, so to go from a 50% to a 100% is huge! I think it's a combination of better quality eggs, a better lab, and fertilizing the eggs sooner.
Wow, just wow that's all I have to say right now, I couldn't be happier.
I think my heart stopped when he said that! He said they are going to do the marker test, which helps them pick the best embryos to transfer- and we are still pushing out for a 5 day transfer on Tuesday, other than that I didn't hear anything else, I just kept saying 'thank you so much' over and over and then hung up and burst into tears. I am so happy! I know we still have a long way to go, but this was great news and I need to just enjoy this for the time being.
I cannot beleive what a change from our last IVF- we had a 50% fert rate before, so to go from a 50% to a 100% is huge! I think it's a combination of better quality eggs, a better lab, and fertilizing the eggs sooner.
Wow, just wow that's all I have to say right now, I couldn't be happier.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Well IVF #1 offically failed!
As I type those words I still cannot beleive it, I never thought it would turn out like this. Granted, there were other things that were found out during our IVF cycle that we never would have known without doing IVF, so in that way I am grateful.
Today was one of the worst days of my life, I made arragements to work only a half day- thank god I did that- I could not have stayed at work with the way I was feeling today. I felt like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I do not wish these feelings or this infertility journey on anyone.
Poor John, he is taking this so hard- I at least had a clue that things were not going to work out- I know what good embryos look like and what creates a baby and I knew on transfer day that our embryos were not looking good. Part of me feels like my babies died- I had 6 of our embryos in me and none of them made it, that makes me sad.
On a positive note I was able to speak with my doctor today and she said my eggs looked perfect so we will keep the protocol the same for our next cycle, which will be towards the end of July- I will start birth control pills arouund the 4th of July. We will be using half donor sperm and half of John's sperm this time, due to the severity of our sperm issues. I know this is tough for John, but he will always be the daddy, no matter where the sperm comes from. We are creating our baby together. My doctor said she really thinks this will be out ticket to parenthood- great eggs, and great sperm (we will be using a donor who has proven pregnancies).
I had the opportunity to start another IVF cycle right away, but I think for our sanity we need a break, I need to accept this and move on with things. My heart is really broken right now- yes it will heal, but I really think that my heart will ever be the same. Infertility is something that stays with you forever, even once you have kids.
Today was one of the worst days of my life, I made arragements to work only a half day- thank god I did that- I could not have stayed at work with the way I was feeling today. I felt like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I do not wish these feelings or this infertility journey on anyone.
Poor John, he is taking this so hard- I at least had a clue that things were not going to work out- I know what good embryos look like and what creates a baby and I knew on transfer day that our embryos were not looking good. Part of me feels like my babies died- I had 6 of our embryos in me and none of them made it, that makes me sad.
On a positive note I was able to speak with my doctor today and she said my eggs looked perfect so we will keep the protocol the same for our next cycle, which will be towards the end of July- I will start birth control pills arouund the 4th of July. We will be using half donor sperm and half of John's sperm this time, due to the severity of our sperm issues. I know this is tough for John, but he will always be the daddy, no matter where the sperm comes from. We are creating our baby together. My doctor said she really thinks this will be out ticket to parenthood- great eggs, and great sperm (we will be using a donor who has proven pregnancies).
I had the opportunity to start another IVF cycle right away, but I think for our sanity we need a break, I need to accept this and move on with things. My heart is really broken right now- yes it will heal, but I really think that my heart will ever be the same. Infertility is something that stays with you forever, even once you have kids.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Can you survive bedrest for 3 days?
Well, its back to normal tomorrow- back to work and back to life. In a way I am thrilled to get off the couch and join the human race again, but again how can my life be normal for another week and a half- I have six embryo's in me, that may or may not be forming our baby. It's all I can think about. I need to really focus on not being obsessed the next week and a half. But I survived bedrest for 3 days- in a way it was kind of nice and in another way I am so happy to be off the couch.
I found out today that we have more insurance that will cover another try at IVF- so if this doesn't work we will defiantley be doing this again. I wish there was a guarantee, but I know there is no guarantee in life with anything. It just seems like babies are everywhere and everyone can get pregnant, everyone BUT me.
John and I watched Jon and Kate Plus Eight last night, along with the other 9 million viewers- and during the sextuplets birthday party John looked at me and said "I want birthday parties" and he's right. I WILL NOT give up that, not now not ever. I dont't care what I have to do, IVF or adopt I WILL have parties for my kids and be called mom one day.
I know that families are formed in all different ways- but I want so much to get pregnant, and see the babies heart beat for the first time, and decorate a nursery, and go into labor, and bring our baby home from the hospital. Those are all basic human wants and I don't think we should have to give that up.
I found out today that we have more insurance that will cover another try at IVF- so if this doesn't work we will defiantley be doing this again. I wish there was a guarantee, but I know there is no guarantee in life with anything. It just seems like babies are everywhere and everyone can get pregnant, everyone BUT me.
John and I watched Jon and Kate Plus Eight last night, along with the other 9 million viewers- and during the sextuplets birthday party John looked at me and said "I want birthday parties" and he's right. I WILL NOT give up that, not now not ever. I dont't care what I have to do, IVF or adopt I WILL have parties for my kids and be called mom one day.
I know that families are formed in all different ways- but I want so much to get pregnant, and see the babies heart beat for the first time, and decorate a nursery, and go into labor, and bring our baby home from the hospital. Those are all basic human wants and I don't think we should have to give that up.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Well maybe the 300th post will be lucky!
Today marks my 300th post- I cannot believe it- I have actually written that much about this journey that is my life. Well lets recap that last 2 days. Yesterday I called my IVF nurse because I was feeling really horrible and thought that I have having symptoms of OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) which is where your follicles fill up with fluid. It can be very serious if left untreated. My nurse said to rest, and drink lots of fluids and come in on Sunday to see the doctor.
So I went the my RE's office this morning, thinking that I am there to see her regarding my possible OHSS- so John stayed at home. I was feeling much better this morning so I figured everything would be fine. My RE comes out into the waiting room and tells me that my transfer is today and she will talk to me in a minute, but that I should call John and Dr. Roth (my acupuncturist) and to prepare for the transfer.
I call John and tell him to get his butt down to the doctors office, then I call Dr. Roth, who bless her heart drops everything and rushes down to the office to see me.
I then burst into tears, because I know nothing at this point, but I can deduce that the embryos are not doing well, otherwise they would push for a 5 day transfer, not a 3 day transfer. I am pretty much hysterical by the time the embryologist comes to talk to me.
She tells me that due to the issue with the sperm the embryos are not growing properly and we are going to transfer all 6- one was a decent looking 6 cell embryo ( they should be 8 cells by day 3, but it had not been exactly 3 days yet- so that one could still catch up) and then the other 5 were not looking good. My RE suggested that if this doesn't work we should look into donor sperm because there is obviously more of an issue with the sperm then we thought.
I am in shock right now, I never thought in a million years that this would happen. My eggs looked perfect, all 14 were mature- so we don't think its an egg issue.
So pretty much at this time we need a miracle- I know that lots of perfect cycles don't end in pregnancy and lots of bad cycles end in pregnancy-but still.
It's in Gods hands now- please God bring us a miracle!
I am on bed rest for 3 days- and already going crazy! How am I going to make it 2 more days!
So I went the my RE's office this morning, thinking that I am there to see her regarding my possible OHSS- so John stayed at home. I was feeling much better this morning so I figured everything would be fine. My RE comes out into the waiting room and tells me that my transfer is today and she will talk to me in a minute, but that I should call John and Dr. Roth (my acupuncturist) and to prepare for the transfer.
I call John and tell him to get his butt down to the doctors office, then I call Dr. Roth, who bless her heart drops everything and rushes down to the office to see me.
I then burst into tears, because I know nothing at this point, but I can deduce that the embryos are not doing well, otherwise they would push for a 5 day transfer, not a 3 day transfer. I am pretty much hysterical by the time the embryologist comes to talk to me.
She tells me that due to the issue with the sperm the embryos are not growing properly and we are going to transfer all 6- one was a decent looking 6 cell embryo ( they should be 8 cells by day 3, but it had not been exactly 3 days yet- so that one could still catch up) and then the other 5 were not looking good. My RE suggested that if this doesn't work we should look into donor sperm because there is obviously more of an issue with the sperm then we thought.
I am in shock right now, I never thought in a million years that this would happen. My eggs looked perfect, all 14 were mature- so we don't think its an egg issue.
So pretty much at this time we need a miracle- I know that lots of perfect cycles don't end in pregnancy and lots of bad cycles end in pregnancy-but still.
It's in Gods hands now- please God bring us a miracle!
I am on bed rest for 3 days- and already going crazy! How am I going to make it 2 more days!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Egg Retreival This morning!
Well, we did it- the first big step is done. I had my egg retrieval this morning, they got 14 eggs, so we were very happy with that. This morning was HORRIBLE, I was in the worst pain- thank God they got all those eggs out. Our doctor said that so far all the eggs looked good so far. I don't have the official fert report, I get that tomorrow.
As far as the pain, all I can take is Tylenol, which sucks! Because I am dying for a Perocet, but Tylenol it is. The pain is getting better as the day progresses- but I am still quite uncomfortable.
So the countdown is on for the fert report tomorrow- I am hoping and praying that everything is mature and was fertilized and we have lots of growing embabies.
As far as the pain, all I can take is Tylenol, which sucks! Because I am dying for a Perocet, but Tylenol it is. The pain is getting better as the day progresses- but I am still quite uncomfortable.
So the countdown is on for the fert report tomorrow- I am hoping and praying that everything is mature and was fertilized and we have lots of growing embabies.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Baseline = Starting Line
Ready. . . . Set. . . . Go. . . .
Today was the ever important baseline ultrasound and bloodwork and I am happy to report that I passed with flying colors. My ultrasound showed about 11 follicles and my lining was nice and thin, just the way they like it, and no cysts! My doctor said she is expecting around 12 eggs, which is average, and she said that I should be very happy about that. All my bloodwork looked great! They have to make sure that your estrogen is very low and that your body is absorbing the Lurpon so you don't ovulate until the doctor wants you to. So everything looked great, and my FSH was 3.5, that is the lowest it has ever been. So hopefully that means that my eggs will be great quality and make great embroyos. FSH is a basic bloodtest that is done on day 3 of a cycle and it is the first step in assessing ones fertility. Normally the lower the number the better, anything over 10 is usually a reason for concern.
One thing I have to remember is this is a marathon, slow and steady, not a sprint to the finish line.
I did have a mini break down on my way from the doctors office to my office, I was driving and all of a sudden the tears just started flowing. I do feel better after I cry, so that is the upside. Everyone tells me to be positve and optimistic, but it's a lot harder then it sounds. But I take their advice and put on a smiling face and block out the negative thoughts!
Here we go, we are so ready, this has been 2 1/2 years in the making!
Today was the ever important baseline ultrasound and bloodwork and I am happy to report that I passed with flying colors. My ultrasound showed about 11 follicles and my lining was nice and thin, just the way they like it, and no cysts! My doctor said she is expecting around 12 eggs, which is average, and she said that I should be very happy about that. All my bloodwork looked great! They have to make sure that your estrogen is very low and that your body is absorbing the Lurpon so you don't ovulate until the doctor wants you to. So everything looked great, and my FSH was 3.5, that is the lowest it has ever been. So hopefully that means that my eggs will be great quality and make great embroyos. FSH is a basic bloodtest that is done on day 3 of a cycle and it is the first step in assessing ones fertility. Normally the lower the number the better, anything over 10 is usually a reason for concern.
One thing I have to remember is this is a marathon, slow and steady, not a sprint to the finish line.
I did have a mini break down on my way from the doctors office to my office, I was driving and all of a sudden the tears just started flowing. I do feel better after I cry, so that is the upside. Everyone tells me to be positve and optimistic, but it's a lot harder then it sounds. But I take their advice and put on a smiling face and block out the negative thoughts!
Here we go, we are so ready, this has been 2 1/2 years in the making!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
To ICSI or not to ICSI
Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is an assisted reproductive technology (ART) used to treat sperm-related infertility problems. ICSI is used to enhance the fertilization phase of in vitro fertilization (IVF) by injecting a single sperm into a mature egg.
Under high-power magnification, a glass tool (holding pipet) is used to hold an egg in place. A microscopic glass tube containing sperm (injection pipet) is used to penetrate and deposit one sperm into the egg. After culturing in the laboratory overnight, eggs are checked for evidence of fertilization. After incubation, the eggs that have been successfully fertilized (zygotes) or have had 3 to 5 days to further develop (zygotes or blastocysts) are selected. Two to four are placed in the uterus using a thin flexible tube (catheter) that is inserted through the cervix. The remaining embryos may be frozen (cryopreserved) for future attempts.
Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is used to treat severe male infertility, as when little or no sperm are ejaculated in the semen. Immature sperm collected from the testicles are usually unable to move about and are more likely to fertilize an egg through ICSI. It is also helpful when the sperm is poorly shaped, it allows the embroyologist to pick the best sperm to fertilize the egg with.
Some couples choose to try ICSI after repeat in vitro fertilization has been unsuccessful. In the United States, about half of IVF procedures are currently performed using ICSI technology. Myself I find this absolutely crazy, why would couples not want to ICSI, why would you want to take the risk of eggs not fertalizing? I just do not get that!!
ICSI is also used for couples who are planning to have genetic testing of the embryo to check for certain genetic disorders. ICSI uses only one sperm for each egg, so there is no chance the genetic test can be contaminated by other sperm.
There has been some studies that show that using ICSI gives you a slightly higher change of having identical twins, but there is not enough evidence to support that quite yet.
So, we will be doing ICSI, we have to, with John's sperm which is poorly shaped and the potential that my eggs are too hard, that would make natural fertilization more difficult. So whatever the risks, I feel the benefits outweigh the risks.
Under high-power magnification, a glass tool (holding pipet) is used to hold an egg in place. A microscopic glass tube containing sperm (injection pipet) is used to penetrate and deposit one sperm into the egg. After culturing in the laboratory overnight, eggs are checked for evidence of fertilization. After incubation, the eggs that have been successfully fertilized (zygotes) or have had 3 to 5 days to further develop (zygotes or blastocysts) are selected. Two to four are placed in the uterus using a thin flexible tube (catheter) that is inserted through the cervix. The remaining embryos may be frozen (cryopreserved) for future attempts.
Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is used to treat severe male infertility, as when little or no sperm are ejaculated in the semen. Immature sperm collected from the testicles are usually unable to move about and are more likely to fertilize an egg through ICSI. It is also helpful when the sperm is poorly shaped, it allows the embroyologist to pick the best sperm to fertilize the egg with.
Some couples choose to try ICSI after repeat in vitro fertilization has been unsuccessful. In the United States, about half of IVF procedures are currently performed using ICSI technology. Myself I find this absolutely crazy, why would couples not want to ICSI, why would you want to take the risk of eggs not fertalizing? I just do not get that!!
ICSI is also used for couples who are planning to have genetic testing of the embryo to check for certain genetic disorders. ICSI uses only one sperm for each egg, so there is no chance the genetic test can be contaminated by other sperm.
There has been some studies that show that using ICSI gives you a slightly higher change of having identical twins, but there is not enough evidence to support that quite yet.
So, we will be doing ICSI, we have to, with John's sperm which is poorly shaped and the potential that my eggs are too hard, that would make natural fertilization more difficult. So whatever the risks, I feel the benefits outweigh the risks.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
What desperation leads to:
It has been in the news a lot, and has a lot of people talking, its IVF, In Vitro Fertilization. Because of our favorite mom, the octo mom, the ethics surrounding IVF has been tested and discussed in the news to no end. It is very easy for newscasters, writers, and american citizens to say that transferring 6 embroyos was irresponsible. Now, while I do not disagree with that and I feel that both octo mom and her doctor made a bad decision, I feel that until you are placed in that situation you cannot make comments or pass judgement. We do not know what octo mom's diagnosis is and what was stopping her from concieving on her own. No one is talking about the Duggars- and they have 18 children, but because they were all concieved naturally every turns a blind eye and tunes in every Tuesday night to watch their show, 18 Kids and Counting.
What people need to understand is that when you get to the IVF stage, its certainly not the first round of fertility treatments for most people, you are in a stage of desperation. You want to have a child so badly that you will do whatever it takes and pay whatever the cost. IVF is not cheap, the average cost of one IVF cycle is $13,000 and that does not include the medication that is necessary, which can cost thousands of dollars. Most fertility treatments and drugs are not covered under most insurance plans, unless you are lucky enough to live in a state that mandates fertility coverage by insurance companies. It is up to each individual employer if they want to cover fertility treatments.
So when a couple is looking at spending tens of thousands of dollars to have a child they may take more risks and allow their doctor to transfer more then one embroyo, now not 6, but certianly more then one, which does raise the risks of a multiple pregnancy. Most couples only have one shot at IVF, becasue of the cost- so they want to get the most bang for thier buck.
There are some cases where a doctor would transfer 6 embroyos, but its unlikely. Lets put it this way, the patient would be over 40 and have several failed IVF attempts. Transferring 6 embroyos is by no way the norm. The norm is usually 2 embroyos for someone under 35 and 3 for someone who is over 35. But again each patient is different, becasue each case is different.
You may have noticed that I have used the word transfer and not implant as it is been so used in the news. Its an embroyo transfer, not an embroyo implant. There is no guarantee that any of the embroyos will implant, they are simply transfered into the uterus in hopes that they will implant and grow into a healthy pregnancy.
So the next time that you start rattling on and on about fertility treatments, you may want to stop, because you do not know what you are talking about until you have been in those shoes.
I hate getting asked if I am going to have 8 babies because we are going through fertility treatments, I really want to scream when I hear that. People please get a clue!
What people need to understand is that when you get to the IVF stage, its certainly not the first round of fertility treatments for most people, you are in a stage of desperation. You want to have a child so badly that you will do whatever it takes and pay whatever the cost. IVF is not cheap, the average cost of one IVF cycle is $13,000 and that does not include the medication that is necessary, which can cost thousands of dollars. Most fertility treatments and drugs are not covered under most insurance plans, unless you are lucky enough to live in a state that mandates fertility coverage by insurance companies. It is up to each individual employer if they want to cover fertility treatments.
So when a couple is looking at spending tens of thousands of dollars to have a child they may take more risks and allow their doctor to transfer more then one embroyo, now not 6, but certianly more then one, which does raise the risks of a multiple pregnancy. Most couples only have one shot at IVF, becasue of the cost- so they want to get the most bang for thier buck.
There are some cases where a doctor would transfer 6 embroyos, but its unlikely. Lets put it this way, the patient would be over 40 and have several failed IVF attempts. Transferring 6 embroyos is by no way the norm. The norm is usually 2 embroyos for someone under 35 and 3 for someone who is over 35. But again each patient is different, becasue each case is different.
You may have noticed that I have used the word transfer and not implant as it is been so used in the news. Its an embroyo transfer, not an embroyo implant. There is no guarantee that any of the embroyos will implant, they are simply transfered into the uterus in hopes that they will implant and grow into a healthy pregnancy.
So the next time that you start rattling on and on about fertility treatments, you may want to stop, because you do not know what you are talking about until you have been in those shoes.
I hate getting asked if I am going to have 8 babies because we are going through fertility treatments, I really want to scream when I hear that. People please get a clue!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
We can thank octo mom for new legislation!
Well, it has started, my worst fear! Federal legislation mandating the number of embryos that can be transferred. Now, its in the infant stages and its been started in the state of Georgia. This is all stemming from our lovely octo mom and her irresponsible doctor!
I agree that there should be some mandates on the transfer of embryo's, however it needs to be in conjunction with mandating the states to pay for IVF for couples. With only 12 states having mandating fertility coverage with insurance companies that leaves many states and couples out in the cold trying to figure out how to pay for IVF.
Just to care for the octuplets, born in January, it will cost the state of California millions of dollars in medical bills, not to mention the millions that will be spent to care for her other 6 children. This has scared the state of Georgia and they do not want this happening to them.
Senate Bill 169,sponsored by president pro-tempore Tommie Williams and several other Georgia legislators, would limit the number of embryos that may be transferred woman to a maximum of three for a woman age 40 or older and two for a woman younger than that. The bill would also limit the number of embryos created in one cycle to the number to be transferred.
Many IVF specialists feel this is wrong- in some women it makes more embryos to create a pregnancy, and this legislation could potentially hurt some women's chances to achieve pregnancy. It is not the governments right to dictate what a woman can do with her body. It's the choice of the couple or woman going through the procedure and their doctor to make decisions based on their diagnosis and their specific situation.
While I am advocate for fertility coverage in each and every state and I feel that states need to do what is necessary to help control the amount of high order multiples this is not the way to do it. The octo mom is an isolated incident, we need to have doctors who are responsible and ethical doing these procedures, we also need to educate the people that are going through the IVF procedure. Through education we will create educated consumers and smart patients who will make good decisions. The octo mom made a bad decision as did her doctor, not everyone should be punished because of her bad decisions.
I agree that there should be some mandates on the transfer of embryo's, however it needs to be in conjunction with mandating the states to pay for IVF for couples. With only 12 states having mandating fertility coverage with insurance companies that leaves many states and couples out in the cold trying to figure out how to pay for IVF.
Just to care for the octuplets, born in January, it will cost the state of California millions of dollars in medical bills, not to mention the millions that will be spent to care for her other 6 children. This has scared the state of Georgia and they do not want this happening to them.
Senate Bill 169,sponsored by president pro-tempore Tommie Williams and several other Georgia legislators, would limit the number of embryos that may be transferred woman to a maximum of three for a woman age 40 or older and two for a woman younger than that. The bill would also limit the number of embryos created in one cycle to the number to be transferred.
Many IVF specialists feel this is wrong- in some women it makes more embryos to create a pregnancy, and this legislation could potentially hurt some women's chances to achieve pregnancy. It is not the governments right to dictate what a woman can do with her body. It's the choice of the couple or woman going through the procedure and their doctor to make decisions based on their diagnosis and their specific situation.
While I am advocate for fertility coverage in each and every state and I feel that states need to do what is necessary to help control the amount of high order multiples this is not the way to do it. The octo mom is an isolated incident, we need to have doctors who are responsible and ethical doing these procedures, we also need to educate the people that are going through the IVF procedure. Through education we will create educated consumers and smart patients who will make good decisions. The octo mom made a bad decision as did her doctor, not everyone should be punished because of her bad decisions.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
You are doing what?!
With all the talk in the news about the octuplet mother I have been getting a lot of questions. I am pretty open about our infertility journey- and some of my co workers know what's going on with us. Over the past two weeks I have been asked "well what would you do with your embryo's" and "how many embryo's would you guys transfer". I truly love hearing what others have to say about fertility treatments, because people really have no clue.
One of the most controversial topics that surrounds IVF is what to do with leftover embryo's which are mature and growing properly. Especially in young women so many eggs are retrieved that there are far more embryo's that are mature and able to be transferred. In women under 35 the average number of embryo's that are transferred are 2 or 3, not 6 as in the octuplet mother. Now every case is different, I am talking the average person undergoing IVF. Your fertility specialist will tell you what they feel is best and leave the decision up to you and your partner. Some couples only want to transfer one embryo, because they do not want the risk of having multiples.
So in the instance that you transfer less embryo's then you have growing and maturing you have to make the decision of what to do with the embryo's. Most couples choose to freeze the embryo's in the event that:
1. The first transfer is unsuccessful they can defrost the leftover embryo's and do another transfer
2. If the first transfer is successful then the remaining embryo's can be used down the road for a sibling
In the event that you choose to freeze your leftover embryo's and you have a successful first cycle then you can continue to keep your embryo's frozen and when you feel the time is right you can make a decision about what to do with your left over frozen embryo's. If your family is complete and you do not wish to transfer the remaining embryo's that you can choose to put the embryo's up for adoption, destroy the embryo's, or donate them to stem cell research.
So I am sure you are wondering what my opinion is on the subject and really I do not have one. I feel that each couple has to make the best decision for themselves. John and I are not quite to the point where we have to make these decisions, but if we did not have twins I would absolutely use my frozen embryo's to have a sibling for my first born. If we did have twins or we chose not to have another child I would look into donating them to stem cell research. I definitely could not destroy them or put them up for adoption, as much as I would love to help another infertile couple I just could not put my embryo's up for adoption.
People do not realize that this is a very controversial topic and one that should not be taken lightly, but every couple needs to take their time and make the best decision for them. Talk to your doctor and get all your questions answered before making any decisions.
One of the most controversial topics that surrounds IVF is what to do with leftover embryo's which are mature and growing properly. Especially in young women so many eggs are retrieved that there are far more embryo's that are mature and able to be transferred. In women under 35 the average number of embryo's that are transferred are 2 or 3, not 6 as in the octuplet mother. Now every case is different, I am talking the average person undergoing IVF. Your fertility specialist will tell you what they feel is best and leave the decision up to you and your partner. Some couples only want to transfer one embryo, because they do not want the risk of having multiples.
So in the instance that you transfer less embryo's then you have growing and maturing you have to make the decision of what to do with the embryo's. Most couples choose to freeze the embryo's in the event that:
1. The first transfer is unsuccessful they can defrost the leftover embryo's and do another transfer
2. If the first transfer is successful then the remaining embryo's can be used down the road for a sibling
In the event that you choose to freeze your leftover embryo's and you have a successful first cycle then you can continue to keep your embryo's frozen and when you feel the time is right you can make a decision about what to do with your left over frozen embryo's. If your family is complete and you do not wish to transfer the remaining embryo's that you can choose to put the embryo's up for adoption, destroy the embryo's, or donate them to stem cell research.
So I am sure you are wondering what my opinion is on the subject and really I do not have one. I feel that each couple has to make the best decision for themselves. John and I are not quite to the point where we have to make these decisions, but if we did not have twins I would absolutely use my frozen embryo's to have a sibling for my first born. If we did have twins or we chose not to have another child I would look into donating them to stem cell research. I definitely could not destroy them or put them up for adoption, as much as I would love to help another infertile couple I just could not put my embryo's up for adoption.
People do not realize that this is a very controversial topic and one that should not be taken lightly, but every couple needs to take their time and make the best decision for them. Talk to your doctor and get all your questions answered before making any decisions.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Embryo's all alone?
This morning I had to get my blood drawn pretty early- I had to go to Quest, not my doctors office, which is fine. But the hospital that I went to is right next to my fertility specialist's office. When I drove by it this morning, it was all dark (they weren't open yet) no cars in the parking lot, it was really weird- its usually really busy.
I started to think about when IVF is done, the embryos are kept warm in an incubator waiting to be ready to put back into the uterus. The embryologist watches over the embryos and takes good care of them. She always tells me she never had her own kids, so she treats the embryos like her children, which is really sweet.
But anyways when I saw the office all dark, I started thinking about all the lonely embryos in the office alone. It made me really sad to think about that. I guess the up side is that hopefully there is more the one embryo so they have their brothers and sisters to keep them company while they are growing and developing, hopefully getting ready to be sticky babies and snuggle in for a nine month stay.
I know this is so silly, that I would feel bad for the lonely embryos, John thinks I am officially crazy! But I think about they embryos as em babies, they are someones future children.
Sometimes I wonder where I come up with this stuff and why things go through my mind.
I started to think about when IVF is done, the embryos are kept warm in an incubator waiting to be ready to put back into the uterus. The embryologist watches over the embryos and takes good care of them. She always tells me she never had her own kids, so she treats the embryos like her children, which is really sweet.
But anyways when I saw the office all dark, I started thinking about all the lonely embryos in the office alone. It made me really sad to think about that. I guess the up side is that hopefully there is more the one embryo so they have their brothers and sisters to keep them company while they are growing and developing, hopefully getting ready to be sticky babies and snuggle in for a nine month stay.
I know this is so silly, that I would feel bad for the lonely embryos, John thinks I am officially crazy! But I think about they embryos as em babies, they are someones future children.
Sometimes I wonder where I come up with this stuff and why things go through my mind.
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