Friday, May 29, 2009

Wait- I thought life was fair?

As a child our parents always tell us "Life isn't fair". I always thought yeah, that's because I'm a kid and you are an adult, you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Well, now that I am the adult I am realizing that maybe my mom was right.

Here I am 28 years old, married to a great guy- we have a beautiful home, a loving family, the best friends anyone could ask for and can't have kids. Now in what part of this does it say that life is fair.

I work with a wide array of people, as in any office setting, and some have better lives then others, and who are the ones that have all the kids? Yes, folks you guessed it the ones that are young, immature, and broke.

Now, I am not saying that just because you have money you should have kids, because there are some rich assholes out there. But there is a certain amount of support that you need to be able to give to a child. In my job I talk to a lot of people and I get my share of calls that go something like this, "I'm pregnant,22 years old, I have medicaid and food stamps (government help), I am unemployed, and I have had no prenatal care." Now do you see my frustration? I literally want to bang my head again the wall, actually what I really want to say is- please let me adopt your baby because there is no way in hell you can care for that child they way it deserves to be cared for. Please God explain to me how she could be more deserving of a child then me?

A lot of people have and will continue to tell me that I am buying my kids, by doing fertility treatments- but you know what I really do not care what they say- this is my life and I will do what is best for me and my husband. When our little one finally makes its appearance I cannot even imagine the amount of love I will have, I think its a admiration that only someone who has suffered struggled for years and years to get to that point can understand. I truly do not believe that someone who has sex one time with their partner gets pregnant and 9 months later has a baby can have the same feelings as someone like myself and John or anyone that has dealt with infertility.

I also have nasty feelings for people that are mean to their children, yes all children have issues and will throw a tantrum from time to time, but come on they are babies- what do they know. NOTHING- that is what your job as a parent is for, to teach them!

I know that John and I will make great parents one day, soon we will get our chance.

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