Never give up hope!

Today I found out that a good friend on mine, who I met through the trials and tribulation of infertility is pregnant. I am so happy for her, she has been through so much! Three years of dealing with this, 4 IUI's and 1 failed IVF, finally on her 5th IUI she got pregnant. She had insisted on the lap surgery, and sure enough the doctor foundEndometriosis, and she had not one symptom. So congrats to her and her hubby on their Christmas miracle.

I am very happy for her, however there is a lingering cloud of jealously, and sadness for myself. She does give me hope that if she can get through all of this then so can I. I am scheduled for my lap surgery on January 14th, so hopefully the doctor will find something and I too will get pregnant. I hate that I have lost the ability to be genuinely happy for people, its not that I am a mean nasty person, but it gets harder and harder. I truly am the only one left, so the next pregnant person has to be me, right?!

I have always been a competitive person, whether it was horse shows, tennis or school, and its very hard for me to come in last place in the baby race. I know its the smart steady person who wins the race, and I will will one day cross that finish line with our baby in my arms, but everyday infertility race gets a little more difficult to run.